Welcome to Elevator Systems! Therapist Joe Berger joins Dixie Vandersluys and Katie White to think about how Bowen family systems theory is useful in the dating world.

Joe Berger is a therapist who works with individuals, couples, and families and previously worked for several years in community mental health. He received a Masters in Social Work from the University of Vermont in 2012, and has completed two years of postgraduate training at the Bowen Center in Washington. He is currently a faculty member at the Vermont Center for Family Studies.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

A Bowen theory approach to dating emphasizes focusing on oneself rather than the other person
Being clear about one's goals and guidelines in dating helps maintain authenticity and self-awareness
The influence of societal and familial expectations on dating behaviours and relationship choices
Keeping a sense of fun and curiosity is important in the dating process, alongside serious considerations
Examples shared from personal experience, clinical cases, and the entertainment world

Counsellors, parents, and anyone navigating the dating world will find useful ideas for further thinking in this episode.

Terms you don’t understand? We have episodes on all 8 concepts of Bowen theory and other ideas in Elevator Systems Seasons 1 & 2.

Recommended Resources:

The Murray Bowen Archives Project

Dr. Jenny Brown: Growing Yourself Up
Dr Ronald Richardson: Jane Austen’s Guide to Good Relationships
Dr Kathleen Smith: Everything Isn’t Terrible
Avrum Nadigel: Learning to Commit
Avrum Nadigel: It Takes More than Love
Esther Perel: Mating in Captivity

New podcast episodes released every Tuesday this season—stay tuned as we explore relationships across the lifespan!

Subscribe on YouTube, Spotify, or Apple Podcasts so you don’t miss a weekly release.

Don’t forget to like, subscribe, and comment.

Living Systems Counselling and Training provides educational material for those interested in learning more about Bowen family systems theory: https://livingsystems.ca

Living Systems Hybrid Conference: October 17–18, 2025

Conference theme: Aging—Individual Challenge or Family Opportunity?

Learn more: https://livingsystems.ca/education/conferences/fall-2025-conference-on-aging/

Key Topics:
#BowenFamilySystems #LivingSystems #MurrayBowen #Therapy #SystemsThinking #Family #Dating #Couples #AuthenticDating #RelationshipInsights #RelationshipGoals #Single #Love #Marriage #BeingLiked #Monogamy #Polyamory #Divorce #TherapyPodcast #MentalHealth #Relationships #DifferentiationOfSelf #Differentiation #BowenTheory #ElevatorSystems #FamilySystemsTheory #ElevatorSystemsPodcast #MurrayBowenArchives #TMBAP #TheMurrayBowenArchivesProject

DISCLAIMER: This podcast is general information about Bowen family systems theory and is not considered the practice of counselling or therapy. The information presented are the views of the people who say them. Any information used from this podcast is used at your own risk.

Learning to Commit

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