Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens 254: How to Help Kids Build a Healthy Relationship with Food with Special Guest Dr. Reshma Shah
Jan 13, 2026
Dr. Reshma Shah, a board-certified pediatrician and parent coach, shares her expertise on fostering a healthy relationship with food in kids. She emphasizes the importance of modeling good eating habits over lecturing. The conversation explores how to reduce mealtime tension, use neutral food language, and the benefits of family meals for mental health. Shah also discusses strategies for dealing with picky eaters, managing sweets, and meeting the nutritional needs of growing teens. Her practical tips aim to make mealtimes calmer and healthier.
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Model Before You Lecture
- Reflect on your own relationship with food before trying to change your child's habits.
- Model the eating behaviors you want your children to adopt, because kids pick up more from actions than lectures.
Use Tension As Your North Star
- Use the “does this increase or decrease tension at the table?” rule to judge feeding tactics.
- Avoid strategies that reduce stress short-term but harm nutrition or relationships long-term.
Avoid Good/Bad Food Labels
- Stop labeling foods as 'good' or 'bad' and use neutral language around eating.
- Neutrality reduces shame and prevents children from equating foods with moral worth.
