How to Detect Unhealthy Chemistry and Why Dating Apps are a Problem with Jeff Guenther
Jan 29, 2024
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Jeff Guenther, a licensed professional counselor, joins Jillian to discuss unhealthy chemistry, the impact of social media on relationships, and the flaws of dating apps. They also touch on communication tactics, writing a memoir, and the importance of shared values in relationships. This insightful conversation offers valuable relationship advice and resources for boosting mental health.
Red flag chemistry is characterized by unpredictability and inconsistent attraction, while green flag chemistry creates a sense of safety and authenticity.
Embracing the concept of the cost of admission involves accepting and appreciating a partner's unique qualities and quirks.
Prioritizing green flag chemistry, compatibility, and open communication is crucial for building a healthy and long-lasting relationship.
Deep dives
The Changing Landscape of Dating Apps
Dating apps have become more prevalent in recent years, with algorithms and paid features increasingly affecting the user experience. There has been a shift in dating culture, resulting in some younger generations questioning the necessity of dating apps and seeking alternative ways to meet potential partners.
Differentiating Between Red Flag and Green Flag Chemistry
Red flag chemistry is characterized by unpredictability, intermittent reinforcement, and chaotic dynamics. It can involve love bombing and intense but inconsistent attraction. Green flag chemistry, on the other hand, creates a sense of safety, allowing individuals to express themselves authentically and feel seen. It is based on shared values, interests, and the ability to communicate emotions and needs openly.
Understanding the Cost of Admission in Relationships
When considering entering a relationship, it is important to recognize that every person has their own unique qualities and quirks. This means there will always be elements that may not align with one's preferences or expectations. Embracing the concept of the cost of admission involves accepting and appreciating these aspects of a partner while focusing on building a strong connection.
Overvaluing the Initial Spark in Relationships
The initial spark or intense attraction should not be the sole factor in evaluating the potential of a relationship. While it can be exhilarating, it is also important to prioritize green flag chemistry and compatibility over the excitement of red flag chemistry. Finding a partner who creates a sense of safety, allows for growth, and fosters open communication is crucial for building a healthy and long-lasting relationship.
Questioning Toxic Monogamy Messages
Examining societal messages about monogamy is essential to developing healthier relationships. Over-valuing the idea that one person should fulfill all emotional, physical, and social needs can create unrealistic expectations and put unnecessary strain on a partnership. Individuals should question these traditional notions and consider alternative ways of approaching relationships that prioritize communication, understanding, and personal growth.
Jillian and special guest Jeff Guenther get candid and personal in this riveting conversation about why men look at provocative accounts, the difference between healthy and unheathy chemistry and why dating apps might be working against you. Jeff Guenther is a licensed professional counselor in Portland, Oregon, practicing since 2005. His focus includes working with both couples and individuals. Alongside therapy, Jeff dedicates his spare time to creating short videos for TikTok and Instagram, and hosting his weekly podcast, 'Big Dating Energy.' Excitingly, you can now pre-order his new book, also titled 'Big Dating Energy.' Follow him on all platforms for insightful relationship advice, tips, pep talks, and a range of resources to boost your mental health. Learn more at TherapyJeff.com