76 — Healing Anxious Attachment and Finding Secure Love with Therapist Jessica Baum
Jan 29, 2024
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Psychotherapist Jessica Baum discusses anxious attachment in relationships, including coping strategies and healing techniques. Topics covered include understanding attachment styles, the challenges of self-abandonment and grief processing in breakups, and tips for finding secure love through recognizing attachment styles, taking a quiz, and seeking therapy.
Understanding attachment styles can offer insights into personal behaviors and motivations, helping individuals to better understand themselves and make conscious choices in relationships.
Shifting from anxious attachment to secure love requires doing inner work to heal attachment wounds, taking personal responsibility for healing, and seeking support from therapists or coaches.
Deep dives
Understanding Different Types of Attachment
There are typically four different types of attachment: secure, anxious, avoidant, and fearful. Secure individuals have inherent trust in the world, while the other three types have more insecure attachment styles. Anxious individuals may have had inconsistent parenting and tend to self-abandon and overly attune to their partner. Avoidant individuals struggle with closeness and intimacy, often due to caregivers who met their needs but lacked emotional connection. Fearful attachment can stem from trauma and includes struggles with both closeness and distance. Attachment styles can influence relationships beyond romantic ones and affect how individuals respond to connection and abandonment.
Recognizing Anxious Attachment
Anxious attachment is characterized by fear of abandonment, people-pleasing tendencies, and a need for frequent reassurance. It can manifest differently in different relationships, with some feeling more secure and others triggering intense insecurity. Understanding one's attachment style can offer insights into personal behaviors and motivations, helping to better understand oneself and make conscious choices in relationships.
Healing from Anxious Attachment
Author and psychotherapist Jessica Baum discusses how individuals can shift from anxious attachment to secure love. She emphasizes the importance of doing inner work to heal attachment wounds, rather than relying on a partner to change. Taking responsibility for personal healing, along with seeking the support of therapists or coaches who understand attachment theory, can help individuals navigate their anxious attachment and move towards more secure relationships.
Working Towards Secure Attachment
While healing from anxious attachment takes time and effort, it can lead to stronger and healthier relationships. By recognizing patterns, identifying core wounds, and seeking support, individuals can develop a deeper understanding of themselves and the roots of their anxious attachment. As healing progresses, the allure of unhealthy relationship patterns may diminish, paving the way for healthier and more authentic connections.
The fear of abandonment, difficulty managing emotions in relationships, and a need for reassurance are just a few signs you might have an anxious attachment. Attachment issues are on the rise, and they can cause a lot of pain. They often stem beyond just romantic relationships.
Jessica Baum is a psychotherapist and the author of Anxiously Attached. Some of the things she talks about today are how to cope with relationship anxiety, how to figure out your attachment style, and how to heal from anxious attachment.
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