Esther Perel, a world-renowned couples therapist celebrated for her insights into infidelity and intimacy, shares her expertise in this engaging conversation. She reads a striking Modern Love essay that explores a woman's experiences with married men, highlighting the complex emotional landscape of infidelity. Perel discusses societal reactions to such topics and emphasizes the need for open conversations about desire and trust in relationships. Her reflections encourage couples to face the difficult truths that can ultimately strengthen their bonds.
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insights INSIGHT
Infidelity: More Than Sex
Infidelity involves betrayal, violation of trust, lying, and deception.
Sex is only one part of infidelity, not the entire story.
question_answer ANECDOTE
Karen Jones's Experience
Karen Jones, after her divorce, dated married men in London.
She learned they craved sex but feared telling their wives.
insights INSIGHT
Reactions to Infidelity
Infidelity evokes strong reactions due to its widespread impact.
People become dogmatic because they've been affected directly or indirectly.
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In this book, Esther Perel delves into the complex and often misunderstood topic of infidelity. She weaves real-life case stories with psychological and cultural analysis to understand why people cheat, even in happy marriages. Perel argues that affairs can provide a unique window into modern relationships, revealing our expectations, desires, and cultural attitudes about love, lust, and commitment. The book offers practical advice on how couples can heal from infidelity and potentially grow and learn from these tumultuous experiences.
Mating in Captivity
Unlocking Erotic Intelligence
Esther Perel
In this book, Esther Perel explores the paradoxical union of domesticity and sexual desire, arguing that our cultural penchant for equality, togetherness, and absolute candor can be antithetical to erotic desire. Drawing on more than twenty years of experience as a couples therapist, Perel uses case studies and lively discussions to demonstrate how more exciting, playful, and poetic sex is possible in long-term relationships. She emphasizes the importance of maintaining independence, mystery, and the space between self and other to sustain desire.
Over the last two decades, Esther Perel has become a world-famous couples therapist by persistently advocating frank conversations about infidelity, sex and intimacy. Today, Perel reads one of the most provocative Modern Love essays ever published: “What Sleeping With Married Men Taught Me About Infidelity,” by Karin Jones.
In her 2018 essay, Jones wrote about her experience seeking out no-strings-attached flings with married men after her divorce. What she found, to her surprise, was how much the men missed having sex with their own wives, and how afraid they were to tell them.
Jones faced a heavy backlash after the essay was published. Perel reflects on why conversations around infidelity are still so difficult and why she thinks Jones deserves more credit.
Esther Perel is on tour in the U.S. Her show is called “An Evening With Esther Perel: The Future of Relationships, Love & Desire.”
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