The podcast explores the importance of autonomy for adults with ADHD, emphasizing the freedom to make choices and avoid tasks that drain mental energy. The speaker shares personal experiences and provides tips on challenging oneself to consider what tasks are worth doing. Reflecting on long-term goals and purpose in life is also discussed, along with the process of slowly taking control of one's calendar to prioritize autonomy and agency.
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Quick takeaways
Recognizing autonomy helps ADHD adults make choices aligned with desires and values.
Constantly forcing oneself to do undesirable tasks drains mental and emotional energy, leading to burnout.
Deep dives
Recognizing Autonomy and Agency
In this episode, the host discusses the importance of recognizing one's autonomy and agency as adults with ADHD. Many individuals with ADHD grew up feeling a lack of control and autonomy in their lives, which can manifest as feeling obligated to others and constantly seeking validation and approval. By acknowledging their autonomy, individuals can make choices that align with their values and desires, reducing the mental and emotional strain that comes from forcing oneself to do things they don't want to do. Recognizing that they don't have to do anything they don't want to, individuals can begin to make conscious decisions about how they spend their time and energy.
The Cumulative Effect of Forced Tasks
The podcast highlights the cumulative effect of constantly coercing oneself to do tasks that are uninteresting, cumbersome, or feel pointless. It takes a significant amount of mental and emotional energy for individuals with ADHD to complete such tasks. This can lead to burnout, affecting various areas of life, including work, relationships, and personal well-being. By understanding the toll that constantly forcing oneself to do undesirable tasks takes, individuals can begin to prioritize their mental and emotional energy and make choices that align with their interests and values, ultimately leading to a more balanced and fulfilling life.
The Importance of Autonomy in Personal Growth
The host emphasizes that having autonomy, the right to self-govern, is crucial for personal growth and living a fulfilling life. Many individuals with ADHD often struggle with owning their choices and feeling in control of their lives. This can stem from childhood experiences where they felt their autonomy was not celebrated or respected. By recognizing their autonomy as adults, individuals can start making decisions that are true to themselves and align with their values. This facilitates personal growth and allows individuals to live a more authentic and fulfilling life.
Making Conscious Choices Based on Desire
The podcast encourages individuals with ADHD to shift their perspective from feeling obligated to choosing based on desire. By giving themselves permission to not do something and acknowledging that they have a choice, individuals can evaluate their options and prioritize activities that align with their interests and values. While it's important to consider long-term outcomes, it's crucial to explore what individuals truly want from their lives and make choices accordingly. By focusing on what they genuinely desire, individuals can navigate their lives with a better sense of purpose and satisfaction.
I’ve got something incredible to share with you. As an adult, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. Did you know this?! Pause. Breathe. Let that soak in.
Many of us grew up in situations where we didn’t feel we had autonomy or the right to self-govern. We didn’t feel like we were in charge of our lives. So, in adulthood, we struggle to recognize that we have control over what we say yes and no to.
Why is this a problem? Because, as adult ADHDers, it takes us so much mental and emotional energy to do things we don’t want to do.
So, you stay stuck in a job you don’t like doing tasks you don’t enjoy. You feel burnt out. You spend your weekends unable to do things around the house because you’re exhausted.
I’ll let you in on my little secret. I give myself an 'out' for everything.
I tell myself I don’t have to do anything. It takes away any obligation and resentment so my brain can truly determine if it’s something I want to choose to do.
Next time you are resisting and dreading a task and procrastination keeps nagging at you, ask yourself that question. Challenge yourself to consider what will happen if you don’t do it. Is that what you really want?