127. Jayson Gaddis: Embracing Conflict in our Personal & Professional Relationships
Aug 30, 2022
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Author, podcaster, and speaker Jayson Gaddis joins the host to discuss conflict in relationships. They explore why conflict is difficult to talk about, the importance of embracing conflict, and how to navigate hard conversations. They also discuss the significance of repair in relationships, navigating difficult conversations with parents, and the parent-child dynamic in play therapy.
Conflict in relationships can be challenging due to biology, personal history, and lack of education in repairing relationships.
Embracing conflict as an opportunity for growth and building secure relationships is crucial in therapy and personal lives.
Deep dives
The Importance of Embracing the Little Lessons in Play Therapy
In this podcast episode, Lisa Deann emphasizes the significance of paying attention to the small details that can make a huge difference in play therapy. She highlights the effectiveness of understanding the little lessons that children are trying to communicate, as they can provide valuable insights for therapists. Lisa introduces Jason Gaddis, an expert in relationship coaching, and discusses the relevance of conflict in therapy sessions and personal lives. They explore why conflict can be challenging and offer insights into understanding its underlying reasons, including biology, personal history, and a lack of formal education in repairing relationships. Jason emphasizes the importance of embracing conflict as an opportunity for growth and building secure relationships, and provides valuable strategies for navigating difficult conversations with clients and partners. Overall, the episode highlights the significance of self-awareness, empathy, ownership, and active listening in effectively addressing conflicts in therapeutic relationships.
Understanding Conflict and Its Challenges
In this podcast episode, Lisa Deann and Jason Gaddis delve into the challenging nature of conflict. They discuss how conflict can trigger deep-seated fears of disconnection and rejection due to our inherent need for social belonging. They also highlight how individuals' personal history with relational challenges can complicate conflict resolution, as past experiences shape their response to conflict in the present. Additionally, they emphasize the lack of formal education in repairing relationships and how this deficit contributes to the difficulty in managing conflicts effectively. By shedding light on these challenges, the episode encourages listeners to approach conflict with curiosity, understanding, and a growth mindset.
Navigating Conflict in Therapeutic Relationships
Lisa Deann and Jason Gaddis discuss the relevance of conflict in therapeutic relationships, particularly in the context of play therapy. They highlight the pivotal role of repair in therapeutic interactions and the importance of fostering secure relationships with clients. Emphasizing active listening, validation, and empathy, they provide guidelines for therapists to navigate conflicts with clients. They offer techniques such as requesting consent for challenging conversations, reflecting back and validating clients' feelings, and taking ownership of mistakes. The episode underscores the significance of creating a safe and open space for clients to express themselves, fostering growth and healing within the therapeutic relationship.
Exploring Conflict in Personal Relationships
Lisa Deann and Jason Gaddis shift the focus to conflicts in personal relationships, discussing how conflict challenges individuals, particularly in intimate partnerships. They highlight the biological and historical factors that contribute to the difficulty in managing conflict and offer strategies for effective resolution. Jason emphasizes the importance of vulnerability, transparency, and complete ownership of mistakes in navigating conflicts with partners. Exploring the impact of personal history on present-day conflicts, they encourage individuals to engage in open conversations, actively listen to their partners, and seek to understand different perspectives. By normalizing the complexities of conflict, the episode provides insights for building stronger, more secure relationships in the face of disagreements.
Lisa is joined by an incredibly important person in her life - an individual that she is excited to introduce you to (...someone outside the field of play therapy that you may not have heard of) - Jayson Gaddis is an author, podcaster, speaker, “personal trainer for relationships”, and is a global leader on interpersonal conflict and connection.
In this podcast episode, they explore conflict and how it shows up in all our relationships - the relationships we have with our clients, their parents/caregivers, and in our personal relationships. Here's what you'll learn ...
The two reasons why conflict is so hard to talk about;
A new view/understanding of conflict that you've likely not considered before;
Why being overly-careful in relationships is a disservice, even in your therapeutic relationships;
How to lean into the uncomfortable experience of conflict and embrace conflict in all relationships);
How to recognize and start to work with your own activation (transference/countertransference) within your relationships; and
Tips to navigate hard conversations in both personal and professional relationships (including what L.U.F.U stands for and the 3 most impactful words you can say to transform any relationship).
You’ll also hear Jayson and Lisa role play and model what these hard conversations can look and feel like - super fun!
Plus hear/read one of the coolest and funniest bios of this entire podcast series ... Jayson Gaddis got tired of complaining that street-level relationship skills are not taught in school, so he founded The Relationship School®, an impact-based company dedicated to helping individuals, couples and teams work out their differences in order to have indestructible relationships. He is the creator of Interpersonal Intelligence® and Present Centered Relationship Coaching® and the Getting To Zero Method™. His new book Getting to Zero: How to work Through Conflict In Your High Stakes Relationships was voted Editors Choice, Best non-fiction, and Best Leadership and Business book in 2021 on Amazon. He’s been married to his amazing wife since 2007 and has two beautiful kids. They live in Boulder, Colorado. When he doesn’t live and breathe this relationship stuff with his family, he pretty much gets his ass handed to him.
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