Creating space for silence can enhance listening and reflection in tough discussions.
Embracing curiosity and openness when receiving emotions can lead to new possibilities in communication.
Deep dives
Effective Communication through Self-awareness and Active Listening
In challenging conversations, it is crucial to focus on self-awareness, understanding one's emotions and goals before expecting change from the other party. Slowing down and anchoring oneself can lead to better listening and a more open dialogue. Active listening and aiming for mutual understanding rather than immediate change are essential in building effective communication.
Constructive Feedback Model: AIR Approach
Constructive feedback can be structured using the AIR approach, consisting of Action, Impact, and Request. By identifying specific actions, detailing their impact, and making clear requests, feedback conversations become more concrete and objective. This model encourages clear communication, problem-solving, and maintaining a focus on actionable steps.
Embracing Emotions and Connections in Communication
Managing emotions during challenging conversations involves acknowledging and sharing feelings to establish a deeper connection. Encouraging emotional connection before offering feedback can lead to more impactful conversations. Creating a safe space for emotions and showing empathy can enhance understanding and collaboration in various relationships.
Pacing, Space, and Grace in Communication Strategies
In fast-paced communication environments, slowing down allows for deeper exploration of emotions, desires, and alternative perspectives. Creating space in relationships fosters broader possibilities and prevents narrowing down options unconsciously. Offering grace and understanding, particularly in challenging situations, can promote open communication, problem-solving, and relationship growth.
Being a better listener has a lot to do with silence, says Collins Dobbs, a lecturer in management at Stanford Graduate School of Business. “A lot of people are uncomfortable with the smallest modicum of silence, but learning often happens when we create distance for useful reflection.”
In this episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, Dobbs talks with host Matt Abrahams about the importance of “space, pace, and grace” when you’re receiving others’ feedback and handling the emotions that come out during tough discussions.
“There’s often a lot more focus on the skill set on delivering emotion than receiving emotion, but if the receiver of emotion can put themselves in a place of curiosity, agency, and openness. . . . opens up a whole new world of possibilities.”
Dobbs is an executive coach and teaches several courses, including Interpersonal Dynamics, and Leadership Labs.