Isaac Prilleltensky, psychologist specializing in the profound human need for mattering, joins us to discuss the two components of mattering - feeling valued and adding value. Learn how cultivating mattering through fairness, purpose, and small generous acts can transform health, happiness, work, and relationships. Isaac shares practical tips for taking responsibility to add value, listen generously, and promote wellness in yourself and society.
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Quick takeaways
Feeling valued and adding value are crucial for a good life and neglecting this need can lead to negative consequences.
Mattering involves feeling valued and adding value to others, impacting both our happiness and performance.
Fairness plays a significant role in our sense of mattering and creating fairness is essential for promoting wellness and happiness.
Deep dives
The Importance of Mattering in Life
Feeling valued and having the opportunity to add value are crucial for a good life. When we feel like we don't matter, it can lead to discouragement and negative consequences. Mattering is an essential need for humans, and it fuels our health, happiness, and purpose. Neglecting the need to matter can result in joining extremist groups or experiencing suicidal thoughts. On the other hand, engaging in acts that fulfill our need to matter in healthy and meaningful ways can have positive effects. Cultivating mattering in our own lives and communities can lead to a good life.
Understanding Mattering and Valuing Others' Contributions
Mattering involves feeling valued and adding value to others. This concept applies to relationships and occupations, as it has a direct impact on our happiness and performance. Feeling valued by others and recognizing the value we bring to their lives contribute to our sense of mattering. Engaging in meaningful activities is a way to fulfill this need, as it makes us feel significant and adds value to both ourselves and others. The reciprocity between feeling valued and adding value is crucial for overall well-being.
The Relationship Between Mattering and Fairness
Fairness plays a significant role in our sense of mattering. Growing up in fair conditions, where we receive messages that affirm our identity, dignity, and humanity, contributes to feeling valued. Feeling valued leads to confidence, venture, and engagement with the world. However, the lack of fairness can result in negative psychological consequences. Fairness indirectly impacts well-being by fostering a sense of mattering. Creating fairness in relationships, communities, and society is essential for promoting wellness and happiness.
The Impact of Mattering on Mental Health
Mattering has a profound effect on mental health. Individuals who feel they don't matter may experience isolation, despair, and vulnerability to extremist ideologies. The need to matter can drive people to seek any form of recognition, even if it's toxic mattering. Volunteering, engaging in pro-social activities, and forming meaningful connections with others are powerful ways to fulfill our need to matter and enhance mental well-being. Small gestures like active listening and investing time in relationships can have a significant positive impact.
Mattering as a Path to a Good Life
To live a good life, it's crucial to recognize and fulfill our need to matter. Taking responsibility for our own sense of mattering, rather than relying on external validation, allows us to add value to ourselves and others. Engaging in meaningful activities, even in small ways, contributes to our happiness and well-being. By fostering healthy mattering, practicing fairness, and engaging in acts that promote wellness and worthiness, we can create a positive impact in our own lives and in society.
What if mattering could be the key to living your best life? Psychologist Dr. Isaac Prilleltensky joins us to unpack the profound human need for mattering.
Isaac explains the two components of mattering—feeling valued and adding value. Discover how cultivating mattering through fairness, purpose, and small generous acts can transform health, happiness, work, and relationships. Learn why extremism rises when mattering is lacking, and how finding meaning by contributing to something bigger than yourself is the antidote. Get Isaac’s practical tips for taking responsibility to add value, listen generously, and promote wellness in yourself and society.