Learn how to set boundaries in friendships and navigate complex relationships. Explore the challenges of expressing frustrations and the importance of speaking your truth. Gain insights on the 'disease to please' and how to promote personal growth. Discover the qualities of good friends and healthy friendships, emphasizing open communication and mutual support.
It's important to raise awareness of patterns in friendships and assess the impact of relationships on your well-being.
Taking a friendship inventory is valuable for assessing how various friendships make you feel and identifying any imbalances or draining relationships.
Deep dives
Boundaries with friends
Setting boundaries with friends can be challenging, especially when it comes to saying no or prioritizing their needs above your own. Many people struggle with people-pleasing tendencies, fearing conflict, and apologizing even when they're not at fault. It's important to raise awareness of these patterns and assess the impact of friendships on your well-being. Not all friendships are meant to last, and it's okay to outgrow certain relationships. Historical handcuffs, life cycles, and forks in the road can all lead to shifts in friendships. Recognizing the qualities of a healthy friendship, such as mutual support, non-judgment, and genuine happiness for each other's success, can guide you in establishing boundaries and fostering fulfilling connections.
Friendship inventory
Taking a friendship inventory is a valuable exercise to assess how various friendships make you feel. Consider how you feel before and after spending time with certain friends. Reflect on any anxiety or emotional fear that certain friendships provoke. Identify friendships that drain your energy or make you feel obligated. Pay attention to imbalances in giving and taking, and notice if you're overly invested in your friends' lives to the point where their experiences feel like your own. Healthy friendships require truth and open communication, where hurt feelings can be addressed honestly and respectfully.
The disease to please
The disease to please, rooted in people-pleasing tendencies, can make it difficult to set boundaries in friendships. Saying yes when you want to say no, prioritizing others' needs above your own, avoiding conflict, and apologizing unnecessarily are common signs of this syndrome. Raising awareness of these behaviors and their impact on friendships is crucial for personal growth. By recognizing where these tendencies manifest, you can begin making conscious changes. Remember, healthy friendships are worth investing time and energy into, and establishing clear boundaries and open dialogue can help foster fulfilling, supportive connections.
Are there decades-long friendships you’re afraid to lose, despite having outgrown them?
If you are nodding your head, this episode is for you. I am talking all about boundaries with friends: why some of us have misguided loyalty, the qualities of a good and healthy friendship, and how to raise your awareness around disordered behaviors in your friendships.