In this episode, the host addresses a listener's question about making the guy she's been seeing commit. She provides tips on addressing fears of commitment, navigating future discussions without pressuring, expressing needs in relationships, and exploring the relationship between commitment and worthiness.
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Quick takeaways
Clear communication and considering one's own needs and self-worth are crucial in a relationship with commitment issues.
Understanding the partner's past and attachment style can provide insights into their fear of commitment.
Deep dives
Commitment Issues and Fear of Losing Freedom
The person who wrote the email is in a two-year relationship with someone who has commitment issues. The partner is afraid that commitment will result in a loss of freedom and independence. Despite recognizing their partner's fear, the writer is unsure how to move the relationship forward in a healthy way without pressuring the partner.
Unresolved Past and Attachment Styles
The partner's fear of commitment may stem from their colorful past, which involved a long marriage with multiple affairs. The partner also had an interesting childhood, raised by a single mom after their dad left. The writer believes the partner exhibits traits of fearful-avoidant attachment, which may contribute to their fear of commitment.
Holding On to Hope and Self-Worth
The writer expresses their belief in the potential for people to change, but questions if their partner truly has the capacity or willingness to give them the commitment they desire. They advise the writer to consider their own needs, desires, and self-worth in the relationship, emphasizing the importance of clear communication and not suppressing their needs. The writer encourages the exploration of possibilities beyond the current relationship if it does not meet their needs.