In 'The Happiness Trap', Dr. Russ Harris presents the insights and techniques of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) to help readers escape the epidemic of stress, anxiety, and depression. The book focuses on accepting unhelpful thoughts rather than trying to control them, and it emphasizes the importance of clarifying values and developing mindfulness. It provides practical tools for reducing stress and worry, handling painful thoughts and feelings, breaking self-defeating habits, overcoming insecurity and self-doubt, and building better relationships and a fulfilling life[1][2][5].
What are values really - and how do you know if you’re living in alignment with them? In this episode, I sit down with clinical psychologist Dr. Emily Musgrove (aka Dr. Em from The Imperfects) to explore how we get stuck in patterns of people-pleasing, avoiding conflict, and living on autopilot - and how to reconnect with the things that matter most.
Dr. Emily Musgrove is a clinical psychologist, author of Unstuck, and the Resident Psychologist on Australia’s top mental health podcast, The Imperfects. In this conversation, we delve into how to recognise when you're out of sync with your values, why it's challenging to break free from people-pleasing habits, and what it truly means to say no without guilt.
Dr. Em shares:
- How to tell if you’re living out of alignment with your values
- Why “health” isn’t actually a value (and what to focus on instead)
- The 80th birthday party exercise: a tool for reflecting on what really matters
- The ACT Bullseye: a practical tool for assessing how you’re living
- Dr. Em’s “corridor meditation” (and why she does it in the hallway)
- The phrase that helps Dr. Em create distance from negative thoughts
- Why people-pleasing is so common - and how to break the pattern
Key Quotes
“Values are like heading west - you never get there. It’s an ongoing direction to return to.”
“The question is: What is this yes for?”
“I’m noticing I’m having the thought that I’m a failure. That tiny shift creates space.”
Connect with Dr. Em on Instagram, LinkedIn and her website. Check out her new book Unstuck.
My latest book The Health Habit is out now. You can order a copy here: https://www.amantha.com/the-health-habit/
Connect with me on the socials:
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/amanthaimber
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/amanthai
If you are looking for more tips to improve the way you work and live, I write a weekly newsletter where I share practical and simple to apply tips to improve your life. You can sign up for that at https://amantha-imber.ck.page/subscribe
Visit https://www.amantha.com/podcast for full show notes from all episodes.
Get in touch at amantha@inventium.com.au
Credits:
Host: Amantha Imber
Sound Engineer: The Podcast Butler
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