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The Mel Robbins Podcast

Outsmart a Narcissist: A Proven 4-Step Plan to Take Your Power Back

Nov 20, 2023
Rebecca Zung, a top-ranked trial lawyer and expert on narcissism, shares her insights on navigating relationships with narcissists. She explains the three types of narcissists and offers a practical four-step plan to reclaim your power. Listeners learn how specific phrases can disarm a narcissist and why typical strategies like cutting off contact often fail. Zung delves into the psychological roots of narcissism and the trauma behind it, empowering individuals to set boundaries and approach these challenging dynamics with confidence.
01:32:47

Episode guests

Podcast summary created with Snipd AI

Quick takeaways

  • Narcissistic relationships follow a cycle of love bombing, devaluation, and discard, leading to a trauma bond and addiction to intermittent reinforcement.
  • Narcissistic supply comes in two forms: diamond level (money, power, prestige) and coal level (degrading, controlling, manipulating), which narcissists seek at any cost.

Deep dives

The Three Phases of a Narcissistic Relationship: Love Bombing

In the first phase, known as love bombing, narcissists use mirror neurons to become exactly what the other person wants. They come on very strongly, overwhelming the person with grand gestures, excitement, and chemistry. It feels like soulmates and a whirlwind romance. They may take on the role of a savior and show up as the perfect partner or business associate. The goal is to lock the person in as quickly as possible.

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