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Esther Perel on the One Thing That Will Improve the Quality of Your Life

Dec 27, 2023

Renowned psychotherapist Esther Perel discusses the importance of accountability in generosity, overcoming obstacles in connecting with others, embracing conflict, and experiencing anxiety or discomfort. She also reveals one simple thing to make yourself happier.

52:00

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Esther Perel

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Quick takeaways

The quality of relationships is the most important factor for long-term happiness and well-being.

Accountability and generosity are vital for building and maintaining strong connections in relationships.

Embracing discomfort and embracing conflict can lead to personal growth and stronger relationships.

Deep dives

The Importance of Relationships for Health and Happiness

The most effective lever for happiness, health, and success is the quality of one's relationships. This is supported by a Harvard study that has been tracking several generations of Bostonians for 80 years, finding that the number one variable for a long and happy life is the quality of relationships. Strong relationships reduce stress, which is a significant contributor to overall well-being. However, relationships are often overlooked when it comes to making resolutions or setting life goals. Optimizing relationships should be prioritized as a key aspect of personal growth and happiness.

Turning Conflict into Connection

01:28

Managing Discomfort and Anxiety for Resilience

00:41

The Power of Being an Empathic Witness

01:17

The Power of Communal Practices in Building Supportive Friendships

01:25

Introduction

2min

The Importance of Accountability and Generosity

4min

Maintaining Balance and Integrity

19min

Embracing Conflict and Clearing Emotional 'Closets'

4min

The Power of Staying Connected

19min

The Consequences of Avoiding Discomfort and Uncertainty

4min

The Power of Social Interaction and Connection

4min

Expressing Admiration and Acknowledging the Production Team

2min

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The renowned psychotherapist talks about the importance of accountability in generosity in her own life, and the one thing you can do right now, today, to make yourself happier.

Esther Perel is a psychotherapist and bestselling author. She has a therapy practice in New York City and serves as an organizational consultant for Fortune 500 companies around the world. Her TED Talks have garnered more than 40 million views and her books, Mating in Captivity and The State of Affairs, are huge bestsellers. Esther is also the host of the hit podcast Where Should We Begin?

In this episode we talk about:

How to get around the obstacles that hinder connection with other people
The role of conflict in relationships and why we shouldn’t be afraid of it
Ways to get better at experiencing anxiety or discomfort so that you can better handle the ups and downs of life
And the simple thing you can do right now to make yourself happier

Related Episodes:

Can Anxiety Be a Gift? | Dr. David Rosmarin

Lessons From the World’s Longest Scientific Study of Happiness | Dr. Robert Waldinger

How to Keep Friendships From Imploding | Esther Perel

Mating in Captivity | Esther Perel

Love in the Time of COVID | Esther Perel

Esther Perel: Turning Conflict Into Connection

Esther Perel on the Other A.I.: Artificial Intimacy (SXSW 2023)

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