91: Rejection, Abandonment, And The Origin Wound With Vienna Pharaon

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Aug 13, 2024

Vienna Pharaon, a licensed family and marital therapist, joins Sabrina to discuss the profound impact of childhood experiences, dubbed 'origin wounds,' on adult relationships. They explore how unresolved pain manifests as patterns in life and emphasize the importance of recognizing caregiver roles, even in seemingly perfect upbringings. Vienna highlights the significance of grieving these wounds to foster healing and break harmful relationship cycles. The duo underscores that all wounds, regardless of trauma size, deserve acknowledgment and can influence self-worth and connection with others.

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INSIGHT

Recognizing Dysfunctional Patterns

Childhood experiences shape our adult relationships and behaviors.
We may not recognize dysfunctional patterns until an outside perspective reveals them.

INSIGHT

Subtlety of Origin Wounds

Origin wounds stem from issues of worthiness, belonging, prioritization, trust, and safety.
Subtle childhood experiences can create these wounds, even in loving homes.

ANECDOTE

Andre's Prioritization Wound

Andre's story exemplifies a prioritization wound.
His hardworking single mother prioritized work, unintentionally creating a sense of lacking time with him.

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On this week’s episode, Sabrina chats with Vienna Pharaon, a licensed family and marital therapist. They delve into the concept of origin wounds and explore how childhood experiences shape our lives and influence our relationships. Vienna talks about how unresolved pain often manifests as patterns in our daily lives, and urges us not to get stuck in the past but to acknowledge and understand it. Origin wounds can stem from issues of worthiness, trust, belonging, prioritization, and safety, and recognizing these can help us heal. Sabrina and Vienna highlight the importance of examining the roles of our caregivers in our upbringing, noting that even those who were less involved can cause significant pain. Healing involves grieving and witnessing these wounds, allowing us to make different choices. Understanding how our childhood affects our present relationships, particularly how fear of abandonment and rejection play into these core wounds, is crucial. Vienna advises against comparing our pain to others, affirming that even without major trauma, our wounds are valid and deserve attention. She and Sabrina also discuss how these wounds impact our self-worth and the way we relate to others, suggesting that by addressing and understanding our behaviors and patterns, we can break destructive cycles and build healthier relationships.

Get Vienna's Book, 'The Origins of You: How Breaking Family Patterns Can Liberate the Way We Live and Love'

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