TED Talks Daily TED Talks Daily Book Club: Come Together | Emily Nagoski
15 snips
Jul 28, 2024 
Emily Nagoski, a renowned sex educator and author of "Come Together," shares her journey of overcoming personal sexual challenges. She discusses the importance of reshaping societal narratives around intimacy and sexuality, emphasizing pleasure and open communication. Nagoski introduces the dual control model of sexual response, highlights emotional intelligence's role in connections, and advocates for a community-focused approach to foster lasting relationships. Her insights are both humorous and enlightening, making the conversation relatable and insightful for everyone.
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Loss of Spark
- Emily Nagoski lost interest in sex after getting married, likely due to stress from her work.
- This led her to research how couples maintain sexual connection, discovering that it contradicted common narratives.
Chasing Pleasure, Not Spark
- Couples in long-term relationships who maintain a strong sexual connection don't focus on "spark."
- Instead, they prioritize mutual pleasure and what kind of sex they genuinely enjoy.
Accelerators and Brakes
- The dual control model explains sexual function as an interplay of accelerators (turn-on signals) and brakes (turn-off signals).
- These systems respond to various stimuli, including sensory input, thoughts, and beliefs, influencing arousal.
