15. What's your best chance at success? | Lessons from FBI Negotiator Chris Voss
Oct 19, 2023
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Chris Voss, former Lead FBI Negotiator, debunks negotiation myths. Topics include flexibility and open-mindedness for success, leaving the FBI to start a consulting firm, and the power of curiosity and ambition for success.
Remaining calm and using a soothing tone can de-escalate tense situations and influence the other party.
Empathizing with the emotions and concerns of the other party promotes honest communication and builds rapport for successful outcomes.
Deep dives
The Power of Calm in Negotiation
Remaining calm is crucial in high-stress situations, whether it's a hostage negotiation or a business deal. Calmness is contagious and can help de-escalate tense situations. Chris Voss emphasizes the importance of staying calm and using a soothing tone to influence the other party. He suggests practicing calming techniques, especially in small stakes situations, to build the skill of remaining calm even in high-pressure scenarios.
Empathy and Understanding in Negotiation
Empathy plays a critical role in negotiation. Chris Voss advises calling out and acknowledging the emotions and concerns of the other party. This process of confirming understanding triggers neurochemicals like oxytocin and serotonin, creating a bond and promoting honest communication. By empathizing and clearly understanding the other side's perspective, negotiators can build rapport and foster a collaborative environment for successful outcomes.
Preparing for Multiple Possibilities
Preparing for multiple possibilities is a key aspect of effective negotiation. Chris Voss suggests envisioning the worst and best outcomes in a negotiation, which helps to recognize that reality often lies somewhere in between. By considering various paths and possibilities, negotiators can maintain flexibility and adapt their strategies accordingly. Avoiding tunnel vision and being open to different outcomes increases the chances of reaching a mutually beneficial agreement.
Using Playfulness to Create Collaboration
In negotiation, adopting a playful approach can help establish a collaborative atmosphere. By using a tonal voice that signals playfulness, negotiators can reduce the perception of threat and facilitate open communication. Playfulness can disarm the other party and encourage them to view the negotiation process as a collaborative endeavor. By creating a positive and engaging environment, negotiators can foster creativity, problem-solving, and achieve better outcomes.