Guest Sam Jolman, a trauma therapist, discusses the importance of arousal in masculinity, distinguishing sensuality from sexuality. He explores the impact of purity culture, the script of arousal, and the connection between arousal and shame. Embracing sensuality and playfulness, the podcast challenges societal norms and encourages men to reclaim their sexuality for awe and joy.
Understanding and embracing arousal as a man is crucial for reclaiming masculinity and breaking away from societal shame.
Distinguishing between sensuality and sexuality is essential for comprehending the role of sensory experiences in shaping one's sexuality.
Deep dives
Reclaiming the Goodness of Arousal
It is essential to understand and reclaim the goodness of arousal as a man, breaking away from the shaming narratives often associated with sexuality. Embodying your sexuality involves embracing the fact that it is a fundamental part of who you are, intricately designed by God. Sensuality and sexuality differ, where sensuality pertains to the enjoyment of the senses and experiencing life in its fullness.
Scripting of Arousal and Sensuality
Your arousal structure is influenced by your life experiences and storytelling plays a significant role in shaping what arouses you. Understanding that arousal does not always equate to desire is crucial, as arousal and desire can exist independently. Exploring the distinction between sensuality and sexuality helps comprehend how your sensory experiences contribute to your sexuality.
The Role of Awe in Sexuality
Awe is identified as a powerful emotion that transcends mere surface experiences and evokes deep reverence and fascination. Connecting sexuality to awe underscores the profound beauty and sacredness of human intimacy. By embracing the concept that sexuality is ultimately about experiencing awe, a transformative perspective on sexuality emerges.
Embracing Playfulness in Sexuality
Recognizing playfulness as a fundamental aspect of sexuality and life unlocks a pathway to reclaiming joy and freedom from the burdens of shame. Understanding the role of play as neural exercise that aids in regulating stress responses underscores its significance in fostering healthy attitudes towards sensuality and pleasure. Embracing playfulness is not just about leisure but also about restoring a sense of childlike wonder and vulnerability, essential for a holistic approach to sexuality.
"There is nothing inherently wrong with an aroused man." What is arousal? Why is it good? Sam Jolman helps us reclaim the heart of masculine sexuality for the purpose of awe, play, and worshipping God. You'll learn how arousal always has a script, why evil hates arousal, and the difference between sexuality and sensuality. At the end, you'll receive a beautiful blessing from Sam. This episode is amazing!
Sam Jolman (MA, LPC) is a trauma therapist with over twenty years of experience specializing in men’s issues and sexual trauma recovery. His writing flows out of this unique opportunity to help people know and heal their stories, and find greater sexual wholeness and aliveness. He received his master’s in counseling from Reformed Theological Seminary and was further trained in Narrative Focused Trauma Care through the Allender Center at The Seattle School of Theology and Psychology. Sam lives in Colorado with his wife and three sons. Fun fact: Sam and Drew attend the same church!