I Have ADHD Podcast 354 Why Even Your Own To-Dos Feel Like an Attack: The Explosive Reality of Adult PDA
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Nov 25, 2025 In this enlightening discussion, Kendahl Damashek, a parent coach and PDA autistic mother of four, and Casey Ehrlich, a fellow coach at At Peace Parents, dive into the complexities of Pathological Demand Avoidance in adults. They reveal how everyday tasks can trigger intense anxiety, the importance of recognizing subtle signs of PDA, and effective strategies for navigating these challenges. From understanding the nervous system's responses to tailoring practical accommodations, this conversation offers valuable insights for anyone feeling overwhelmed by self-imposed demands.
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PDA Is A Nervous-System Response
- PDA reflects a nervous-system response to perceived threats to autonomy and equality rather than simple procrastination.
- That reframing predicts varied presentations like avoidance, shutdown, or extreme compliance based on regulation state.
Five Patterns Explain Adult PDA
- PDA has patterns: survival drive for autonomy, equalizing, masking, need for undivided attention, and fluctuating cumulative activation.
- These characteristics explain why people can function outwardly yet crash at home or in private.
Inviting A Trusted Adult To Co-Regulate
- Kendahl flew to present in Dublin but felt activated by being alone and invited her dad to co-regulate and signal safety.
- His presence allowed her to explore the city and use the trip instead of staying confined to the hotel.