Everything Happens with Kate Bowler

When Caregiving Becomes Codependency: A Conversation with Elizabeth Gilbert

4 snips
Sep 9, 2025
In this heartfelt discussion, best-selling author Elizabeth Gilbert shares her journey of caregiving detailed in her new memoir, All the Way to the River. She delves into the emotional toll of caring for a loved one grappling with addiction and illness while confronting the fine line between devotion and codependency. Gilbert emphasizes the importance of self-care, the complexities of human relationships, and the necessity of surrender during difficult times. Her insights resonate with anyone who has loved deeply and felt the weight of that love.
Ask episode
AI Snips
Chapters
Books
Transcript
Episode notes
ANECDOTE

From Hairdresser To Life Partner

  • Elizabeth Gilbert describes meeting Rhea as a hairdresser who felt free and formidable, sparking a deep friendship that became secret love.
  • Their closeness deepened over years until cancer revealed the truth and catalyzed their romantic relationship.
ANECDOTE

When Caregiving Unravels Identity

  • Gilbert recounts how Rhea relapsed into heavy drug use as cancer pain and fear worsened, revealing a side Gilbert had never faced before.
  • She admits she became codependent and degraded into a spineless, enabling version of herself trying to keep Rhea alive and loved.
INSIGHT

The Bad Math Of Giving Everything

  • Pouring every bit of yourself into another rarely yields reciprocal love; it's a pattern rooted in bad math and ancient hope.
  • The logical endpoint of sustained codependency often becomes rage and blame when expectations fail.
Get the Snipd Podcast app to discover more snips from this episode
Get the app