#339 - Unpacking trauma: How early wounds shape behavior and the path toward healing | Jeff English
Mar 10, 2025
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In this discussion, Jeff English, a trauma-focused clinical counselor and outreach specialist at the Bridge to Recovery, delves into the intricate nature of trauma. He introduces the metaphor of the 'trauma tree' to illustrate how early wounds shape behaviors. Jeff emphasizes the efficacy of group therapy, the importance of vulnerability, and navigating personal growth within relationships. He shares insights on finding a great trauma therapist and recognizing when to seek help, all while unpacking the deep complexities of healing from trauma.
Trauma can stem from both significant events and subtle experiences, influencing behavior through perceived helplessness that activates emotional responses.
The trauma tree metaphor illustrates how deep-rooted experiences shape maladaptive behaviors, highlighting the importance of understanding their origins for personal growth.
Group therapy is a transformative tool for healing, fostering connection through shared vulnerabilities while challenging individuals to embrace discomfort and confront control issues.
Choosing the right trauma therapist involves evaluating their specific trauma expertise and ensuring clients feel both challenged and safe within the therapeutic relationship.
Deep dives
Understanding Trauma
Trauma is often misunderstood and can be defined by moments of perceived helplessness that activate the limbic system. Many people equate trauma with significant events, such as war or disaster, but it can also stem from less obvious experiences, such as emotional neglect or ongoing relational dysfunctions. The speaker highlights how adaptive behaviors developed in response to trauma may later become maladaptive, complicating personal and relational growth. Through discussions, clients often discover that their own experiences of trauma, whether big or small, have shaped their current behaviors and emotional responses.
The Concept of the Trauma Tree
The trauma tree serves as a helpful metaphor to illustrate the roots and branches of trauma, where the roots represent various traumatic events and experiences. This model is instrumental in distinguishing between major trauma and the smaller, cumulative effects of ongoing negative experiences, often referred to as 'little t' trauma. Understanding the connection between wounding experiences and their manifestations can provide clarity to individuals struggling with maladaptive behaviors. By reframing their narratives from 'what is wrong with me' to 'what happened to me,' clients can begin to understand their behavior's origins more deeply.
The Importance of Group Therapy
Group therapy is highlighted as a powerful tool for healing, particularly in residential settings where individuals can share and confront their vulnerabilities collectively. The connection fostered in these environments allows members to challenge and support one another, promoting personal growth. However, confronting control issues and the fear of vulnerability can be significant barriers for individuals in this setting. Recognizing that discomfort can lead to breakthroughs helps individuals embrace the difficult aspects of group therapy, ultimately facilitating deeper healing.
Finding a Trauma Therapist
When seeking a trauma therapist, individuals are encouraged to look for clinicians with expertise specifically in trauma rather than a wide array of specialties. A personal referral can often help, but online searches for trauma-informed therapists require judicious examination of credentials and experiences. Assessing compatibility is essential; clients should feel challenged yet safe in their therapeutic relationship. After several sessions, it's crucial for clients to evaluate whether they feel heard, understood, and if the therapy encourages personal growth.
Experiential Therapy and Vulnerability
Experiential therapy emphasizes the importance of feeling and processing emotions in the moment, rather than avoiding or suppressing them. Cultivating a safe environment allows individuals to explore vulnerabilities, which can lead to significant insights and breakthroughs in understanding personal trauma. However, for many, opening up emotionally feels daunting, prompting protective behaviors that resist vulnerability. Therapists work to guide clients toward embracing discomfort as a necessary aspect of healing, reiterating that true connection requires the willingness to be vulnerable.
Breaking the Cycle of Maladaptive Behaviors
Addressing maladaptive behaviors rooted in trauma involves recognizing the adaptations that once served a purpose but now hinder relationships and personal growth. Therapists encourage clients to identify these patterns and understand how they can transform through healthy connections. The journey often entails confronting fears and insecurities that provoke these behaviors. Establishing boundaries becomes essential, allowing individuals to reclaim agency in their relationships while promoting self-care and emotional health.
The Role of Emotional Connection
Fostering emotional connections is crucial for healing; however, it requires mutual vulnerability and openness from both partners in a relationship. The challenge arises when one partner is willing to engage emotionally while the other remains guarded, creating a rift in the relationship. This dynamic can lead to frustration and resentment, ultimately emphasizing the necessity for both individuals to participate in the healing process. To bridge this gap, partners can communicate their feelings and establish boundaries that encourage mutual growth and understanding.
The Journey Continues
The path of healing is ongoing and nonlinear; individuals discover that breakthroughs can occur at unexpected moments, fostering new insights. While experiencing significant shifts in beliefs is empowering, it is essential to acknowledge that these changes don't eliminate the need for continued growth and self-exploration. Clients are encouraged to remain engaged with their emotions, developing new strategies for coping and connection. This process allows for deeper healing, where individuals learn to embrace their vulnerabilities and improve their relationships.
Jeff English is a trauma-focused clinical counselor with extensive experience working with adults, teens, families, and groups across various settings, including career counseling, life coaching, addiction recovery, professional workshops, and private practice. In this episode, Jeff shares insights from his work as a trauma therapist, exploring how moments of perceived helplessness shape behaviors and how adaptive strategies can become maladaptive over time. He discusses the concept of the “trauma tree,” examining its roots (causes) and branches (consequences), and highlights a powerful framework used at the Bridge to Recovery, a residential workshop where Jeff serves as an outreach specialist. Jeff reflects on the transformative power of group therapy, the role of vulnerability in fostering connection, and the challenges of letting go of control. He also offers practical advice on finding a great trauma therapist, balancing personal growth within relationships, and recognizing when it’s time to seek help.
We discuss:
Defining trauma—a loaded word [3:00];
The therapeutic process at The Bridge to Recovery: confronting discomfort, embracing vulnerability, and reframing one’s story [5:45];
The roots of the trauma tree: the foundational wounding experiences that shape adaptive survival behaviors [11:30];
The branches of the trauma tree: how trauma manifests through co-dependency, addictive patterns, insecure attachments, and more [17:30];
The connection between trauma manifestations and underlying wounding experiences, trauma triggers, and the importance of surrender in the healing process [24:00];
How surrendering control, eliminating distractions, and practicing vulnerability are essential components of the healing process [32:45];
How adaptive behaviors developed during childhood in response to trauma can become maladaptive in adulthood [43:30];
The difference between shame and guilt, and recognizing and addressing toxic shame and shame-driven behaviors [49:15];
The unique rules at The Bridge to Recovery that support the healing process [53:15];
Internal resistance to healing due to the fear of losing positive traits associated with trauma [58:15];
The structured storytelling process at The Bridge, and the role of peer feedback in healing [1:05:00];
The differences between immersive residential therapy and individual therapy, and how to determine the right approach for different individuals [1:09:30];
Jeff’s personal journey as a client and therapist at The Bridge [1:22:00];
The generational transmission of trauma, and breaking the cycle [1:25:45];
The challenge of addressing socially acceptable maladaptive behaviors like workaholism, perfectionism, and overachievement [1:28:45];
How to determine whether struggles stem from deep-seated trauma or just bad habits, and how rewiring maladaptive behaviors requires addressing the underlying emotional wounds [1:32:30];
Breakthroughs that shatter beliefs and allows change to occur, and the process that creates this opportunity [1:39:15];
Jeff’s advice on finding a therapist for trauma work [1:46:45];
The importance of connection and vulnerability [1:52:45];
How to encourage a resistant partner to seek healing [1:57:30];
Jeff’s advice for those facing emotional struggles [1:59:15]; and
