The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish #157 Carolyn Coughlin: Become A Better Listener
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Jan 24, 2023 
Carolyn Coughlin, an executive coach and co-founder of Cultivating Leadership, shares her insights on becoming a better listener. She discusses the three types of listening and practical skills that make an immediate impact. Delving into how language shapes personal growth, Coughlin emphasizes the power of phrases in transforming narratives. The conversation also touches on improving communication through deep listening, helping children develop these skills, and the pivotal role of empathy in fostering connections and leadership.
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Adult Development Theory
- Adult development theory describes how our sense-making changes throughout adulthood.
- It suggests that even when we look like adults, how we understand ourselves and the world continues to evolve.
Need To vs. Want To
- Carolyn Coughlin's friend observed her frequent use of "need to" and "have to" when discussing family.
- This prompted Coughlin to switch to "want to," changing her feelings about family responsibilities.
Limiting Language
- Notice and disrupt limiting language patterns like "I am just this way" or "I have to."
- Replace them with enabling language that supports your goals.