Challenging negative self-talk can be done by using linguistic distancing techniques like referring to oneself in the second or third person, and taking on the perspective of a wise other person.
Negative self-talk can impair our ability to focus, hinder performance, and have adverse effects on our physical health, but it can be harnessed for personal growth by gaining perspective, activating alter egos, and seeking support from others.
Deep dives
Strategies for Controlling Negative Self-Talk
Negative thought patterns and rumination are ineffective strategies for controlling our thoughts. The book 'Chatter' by Ethan Cross provides useful strategies to change our inner monologue and fight our inner critic. These strategies include coaching ourselves through linguistic distancing, using our own name or the second person pronoun, and taking the perspective of a wise other person. Normalizing our experiences and activating alter egos can also help shift our perspective and create distance from negative self-talk.
Understanding the Consequences of Chatter
Chatter, negative self-talk, can have negative consequences across various aspects of our lives. It impairs our ability to focus and can hinder our performance and attention. Chatter can also lead to paralysis by analysis, causing us to overthink and unravel complex tasks. Moreover, it takes a toll on our physical health, as prolonged stress and negative emotions can have adverse effects on our cardiovascular system and overall well-being.
Harnessing Chatter for Self-Improvement
Rather than trying to completely stop negative self-talk, we can harness it for personal growth. Tools such as distancing self-talk and mental time travel can help us gain perspective and recognize the impermanence of our negative emotions. By activating alter egos that are supportive and engaging in conversations with trusted friends or confidants, we can better navigate and reframe our internal dialogues to foster self-compassion and mitigate the impact of toxic positivity.
The Power of Normalizing Experiences and Seeking External Support
Recognizing that negative self-talk is a common human experience can be comforting and empowering. Normalizing our emotions helps us understand that we are not alone in our struggles. Seeking support from others who can provide both empathetic listening and advice can be invaluable. By sharing our thoughts and emotions with the right people who can broaden our perspective and offer helpful feedback, we can navigate the challenges of negative self-talk more effectively.
It can speak to us in the middle of a work project, the middle of a date, or the middle of the night. The critical voice in our head telling us we're just not good enough and we're headed for failure. Listener Patricia Branigan wrote in to ask what we can do the quiet down this chatter.
To explain what damage negative self-talk does to us and explore some simple strategies to challenge our inner critic, Dr Laurie Santos is joined by "chatter" expert Ethan Kross (professor of psychology and management at the University of Michigan).
You can read more in Ethan's book 'Chatter: The Voice in our Head (And How to Harness it)'.