271 The Ex Good Girl: A Recent ADHD Diagnosis, Perimenopause, and How to Stop Avoiding Difficult Conversations with Sara Fisk
Jul 9, 2024
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Sara Fisk, a coach helping people pleasers, discusses ADHD symptoms, perimenopause, and overcoming people-pleasing behaviors. They share insights on rejection sensitivity, self-care, and setting boundaries. Sara's training in somatic experiencing and internal family systems helps redirect self-criticism and assert control over decisions. Emphasizing self-acceptance, they highlight the importance of prioritizing personal values over seeking approval from others.
Embracing personal values over seeking approval fosters self-empowerment and honest decision-making.
Transitioning from people-pleasing behavior enables assertiveness, boundary-setting, and prioritizing self without guilt.
Connecting with deeper emotions and accepting vulnerability leads to authenticity and emotional regulation.
Deep dives
Connecting with Emotions and Values for Authenticity
Being connected to one's emotions and values is essential to breaking free from people-pleasing behaviors. Embracing feelings, self-soothing, and honoring one's values provides a structure for making honest choices and establishing healthy boundaries.
Empowerment Through Assertiveness and Self-Advocacy
Transitioning from people-pleasing allows for assertiveness and respectful self-advocacy. This newfound power enables individuals to confidently communicate their needs, set boundaries, and prioritize themselves without drama or guilt.
Navigating Self-Discovery and Emotional Regulation
The journey to self-discovery and emotional regulation involves embracing vulnerability and connecting with one's deeper emotions. Accepting and validating complex feelings, even if they seem overwhelming, leads to developing a more grounded and authentic self.
Transforming Conflict and Prioritizing Self-Care
Embracing conflict with love and prioritizing self-care over avoiding discomfort signify a shift towards self-empowerment. By navigating honest, respectful conflict and prioritizing personal well-being, individuals step into their authentic power and claim agency over their lives.
Embracing Growth and Supporting Others
Embracing personal growth and authenticity allows individuals to support others on their journeys. Creating safe spaces for vulnerability, honoring emotions, and fostering open dialogue contribute to a community built on compassion, understanding, and self-empowerment.
In today’s episode, I’m joined by the woman who trained ME as a coach, the incredible Sara Fisk. Sara helps people pleasers stop avoiding difficult conversations, and let me tell you, we GET INTO IT on this episode.
From understanding ADHD symptoms in adulthood to dealing with perimenopause, this conversation covers it all. We also explore the concept of being an “ex good girl,” focusing on self-care and moving away from people-pleasing behaviors.
Sara shares her reflections on her Mormon upbringing, achievements, and the challenges of moving from a rule-based system to making choices based on personal preferences. For both of us, our ADHD diagnoses clarified a lot of past behaviors related to rejection sensitivity and constant pleasing. This shift has allowed us to make decisions for our personal satisfaction rather than conforming to societal norms.
Throughout our conversation, we delve into the importance of prioritizing personal values over seeking approval from others. We discuss how shame, anxiety, and fear can impact decision-making and the need to embrace our emotions.
Sara’s training in somatic experiencing and internal family systems has helped her redirect self-criticism and assert control over her decisions and emotions. We highlight the significance of building an internal dialogue, working with emotions, setting boundaries, and being assertive, especially for individuals with ADHD.
We wrap up our conversation by emphasizing the importance of self-acceptance, authenticity, and navigating emotions with compassion. Sarah and I share our personal experiences of embracing vulnerability and finding strength through prioritizing our needs in relationships. It’s been such a powerful discussion, and I hope you find it as enlightening as I did. Remember, you’re not alone in this journey, and there’s a whole community here to support you.