Better Sex

309: Staying married is the hardest part with Bonnie Comfort

Jul 28, 2025
Bonnie Comfort, a psychologist and couples counselor, discusses her journey through 30 years of marriage and the influence of loss on her writing. She highlights the struggles of sexual incompatibility and societal expectations, emphasizing the importance of honesty, empathy, and self-advocacy in relationships. Bonnie shares personal experiences that reveal the complexities of intimacy and communication. Her insights serve as a guide for couples navigating their own challenges, encouraging both vulnerability and support amidst life's ups and downs.
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INSIGHT

Marriage Has Natural Rhythms

  • Society's portrayal of marriage and romance sets unrealistically high expectations.
  • Understanding marriage has natural ebbs and flows helps normalize conflicts and closeness shifts.
ADVICE

Foster Safe Sexual Talk

  • Create a safe environment for open, blame-free sexual communication with your partner.
  • Let go of shame to facilitate honest dialogue and mutual understanding about sexual needs.
ANECDOTE

Bonnie's Affair Story

  • Bonnie Comfort shared about her sexual incompatibility with her husband and her eventual affairs on his suggestion.
  • Even though it was damaging, she did it out of anger and need for attention without love for those others.
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