Well with Arielle Lorre 436: Attachment Styles Explained: Why We Chase Unavailable People (and What To Do Instead) with Thais Gibson
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Jan 26, 2026 Thais Gibson, relationship and attachment theory expert and founder of the Personal Development School, breaks down why we chase emotionally unavailable people. She explains anxious, dismissive avoidant, fearful avoidant and secure patterns. Short takes cover chemistry versus trauma bonding, why we’re drawn to repressed traits, the six relationship stages, and the five pillars for changing attachment styles.
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Secure Attachment Builds Trust
- Secure attachment forms when caregivers attune and soothe a child, teaching trust and emotional worthiness.
- Thais Gibson says securely attached people report the most fulfilling, long-lasting relationships.
Anxiety Roots In Abandonment
- Anxious attachment comes from real or perceived abandonment and creates a fear-driven people-pleasing pattern.
- Thais Gibson explains anxious people prioritize avoiding abandonment over addressing relationship mismatch.
Emotional Neglect Leads To Distance
- Dismissive avoidant stems from emotional neglect and teaches children emotions are unacceptable.
- Thais Gibson notes they cope by minimizing vulnerability and keeping partners at arm's length.