125: Anxious vs. Avoidant: Breaking the Unhealthy Push-Pull Dynamic in Love With Jimmy Knowles

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Feb 21, 2025

In this discussion, relationship expert Jimmy Knowles shares his insights on the anxious-avoidant dynamic, drawing from personal experiences and research. He explains why avoidants may withdraw and the self-sabotaging tendencies of anxious partners. They explore how early childhood shapes attachment styles and examine the possibility of thriving in anxious-avoidant relationships. The conversation highlights essential mindset shifts for breaking toxic cycles, fostering real trust, and building connections where both partners feel secure.

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INSIGHT

Relationship Essentials

Healthy relationships require consistency, safety, and trust.
Without these elements, individuals develop fears and insecurities, leading to self-sabotage.

INSIGHT

Self-Protection vs. Self-Abandonment

Anxious individuals often avoid self-reflection by focusing on their partners.
Avoidant individuals protect themselves and possibly their partners through withdrawal.

ADVICE

Radical Acceptance and Accountability

Acknowledge past experiences without self-blame, but take responsibility for healing.
Recognize that anxious attachment can lead to people-pleasing and self-abandonment.

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If you’ve ever felt like you’re too much in a relationship while your partner seems emotionally unavailable, you’re not alone. The anxious-avoidant dynamic is one of the most common (and frustrating) relationship patterns—but is it doomed, or can it actually work?

In this episode, Jimmy Knowles (@jimmy_on_relationships) joins Sabrina Zohar to break down the push-pull dynamic between anxious and avoidant partners. Both Jimmy and Sabrina lean anxious, while their partners are avoidant—so they get the struggles firsthand.

🔹 Why do avoidants pull away, and what are they really thinking?
🔹 How does anxious attachment lead to self-sabotage?
🔹 Can anxious-avoidant relationships actually thrive?
🔹 The key to breaking toxic cycles and building real trust

They unpack how early childhood experiences shape attachment, why anxious partners tend to people-please into resentment, and how avoidants often withdraw not out of rejection—but out of self-protection. Plus, they reveal the mindset shifts needed to stop chasing, start connecting, and build a relationship where both people feel safe.

If you’ve ever felt trapped in an emotional rollercoaster, this episode is for you. 🎢

👉 Hit play now and learn how to stop the cycle for good!

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