Frank Ostaseski, Buddhist teacher and leading voice in end-of-life care, joins Sam Harris to discuss the impact of death on our lives, the importance of mindfulness, reflections on mortality and its role in shaping our perspective, coping with the inevitability of death, personal experiences with a heart attack and finding healing, lessons in mindfulness, the use of psychedelics in end-of-life care, and the importance of conversation and resources for caregivers.
Reflecting on death brings perspective to how we use our attention and make choices in life, reminding us to appreciate each moment and prioritize what truly matters.
Death highlights the importance of relationships and love, prompting us to navigate relationships and conduct ourselves in life with greater consideration.
Mindfulness and presence are crucial in the dying process, helping individuals navigate fear, find rest amidst challenges, and truly appreciate the beauty of life.
Deep dives
The Importance of Reflecting on Death
Reflecting on death brings perspective to how we use our attention and make choices in life. It reminds us that life is fragile and encourages us to appreciate each moment and not to waste time on trivial matters. It also brings a sense of moral and emotional clarity and helps us prioritize what truly matters.
Death and the Significance of Relationships
Death highlights the importance of relationships and connection. The dying process and the experience of loss are intertwined. As we approach the end of life, questions about love, the quality of relationships, and feeling loved become more significant. Whether religious or secular, the way we navigate relationships and how we conduct ourselves in life become vital considerations at the end.
The Role of Mindfulness in the Dying Process
Mindfulness and presence play a crucial role in the dying process. The practice of being present can help individuals navigate fear, uncertainty, and pain. Mindfulness also enables one to embrace vulnerability, cultivate trust, and find deep rest amidst the challenges. Practicing mindfulness allows individuals to truly appreciate the beauty and preciousness of life.
The process of dying and the phases of grief
The podcast episode explores the different phases of grief and the process of dying. It mentions three phases: the feeling of loss, the loosening of the stranglehold of grief, and the reinvestment in life. The speaker shares stories of individuals who experienced these phases, including a woman who continued to seek her deceased husband's advice after his death, and reflects on how the process of dying can teach us how to live our lives.
Navigating grief and supporting others
The podcast also touches on how to navigate grief and support others who are grieving. It highlights the importance of presence and genuine conversations, rather than avoiding or trying to fix someone's grief. The speaker emphasizes the need for practical help and consistent contact, as well as being willing to listen and offer support. It is mentioned that society often struggles with being around other people's bereavement, but there is hope that more conversations and awareness around death will lead to a better understanding and acceptance of the grieving process.
Sam Harris speaks with Frank Ostaseski about death and dying—and about how the awareness of death can improve our lives in each moment.
Frank Ostaseski is a Buddhist teacher, international lecturer, and a leading voice in end-of-life care. In 1987, he co-founded the Zen Hospice Project, the first Buddhist hospice in America. In 2004, he created the Metta Institute to provide innovative educational programs and professional trainings that foster compassionate, mindfulness-based care. Mr. Ostaseski’s groundbreaking work has been widely featured in the media, including the Bill Moyers television series On Our Own Terms, the PBS series With Eyes Open, The Oprah Winfrey Show, and in numerous print publications. AARP magazine named him one of America’s 50 most innovative people. In 2001, he was honored by the Dalai Lama for his many years of compassionate service to the dying and their families. He is the author of The Five Invitations: Discovering What Death Can Teach Us About Living Fully.