Savage Love Episode 996

Dec 2, 2025

A woman discovers her husband's decade-old affair and has been unknowingly chatting with the other woman who lives nearby. She seeks advice on whether to confront her. Another caller loves anal sex but wants to prolong their pleasure; tips include butt plugs and staying still. A middle-aged man navigates his online feminist persona while juggling interest from younger women, debating how to avoid past mistakes. Plus, insights on Mpox cases from a queer sexual health expert keep listeners informed.

Ask episode

AI Snips

Chapters

Books

Transcript

Episode notes

ADVICE

Extend Anal Play By Staging Orgasms

If anal stimulation makes you orgasm too quickly, try using a butt plug or staged play to space orgasms out.
Have your partner stay inserted without thrusting after you come, then resume gentle movement to extend the session.

ADVICE

Start BDSM By Learning, Not Pretending

You are already practicing BDSM if you use choking and restraints; build skill by reading and learning together.
Avoid excessive choking, read foundational books, and add roleplay only after you feel confident.

INSIGHT

No Single Script For Betrayal

There is no single correct script for responding to infidelity; staying can be a valid, life-improving choice.
Radical honesty after a betrayal can open deeper conversations about desire, commitment, and family priorities.

Get the Snipd Podcast app to discover more snips from this episode

Get the app

It's the Magnum Gift sale Dec 1–31! Gift a Magnum subscription to a friend or enemy at 50% off, just $24! Savage.love/gift.

Listen in on Dan's conversation with a woman who learned that her husband had an affair early in their relationship. It turns out she's been chatting with the other woman for a year without knowing it was her! She lives up the street! Dan advises her on whether to broach the subject with her husband's ex-lover.

A woman loves receiving anal sex so much, that she comes immediately and then needs her husband to get outta there. How can she prolong both of their pleasure?

On the Magnum, Mpox cases are on the rise worldwide. Dan brings on queer sexual health teacher Dr. Carlton Thomas to give us the scoop. He was a clear and steady source of information during the first Mpox outbreak, and he's here guide us today.

Finally, a middle-aged straight man who "broad"casts his feminist allyship on social media has a gaggle of younger women he's collected from his comments section who all expressed interest in him. He *may* want to try to commit to one of them, but doesn't want to make mistakes from his past. If he chooses just one, how can he "not get bored and fuck it all up?"

206-302-2064 Q@Savage.Love

This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Right now, Helix is offering 27% off site wide. Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now.

This episode is brought to you by Blueland. Going eco has never been easier. Revolutionary, refillable cleaning essentials eliminating single-use plastic. Right now, get 15% off your first order by going to Blueland.com/Savage

This episode is brought to you by Overload by Maxxm: supplements that leave a lasting impression in the bedroom. For a discount go to maxxm.com/savage.

Dan Savage is a sex-advice columnist, podcaster, author, and creator of the It Gets Better Project. From polyamory, to BDSM, gay rights to sexual health and with a dose of progressive politics, Dan Savage has been cultural force for sex positivity since the 1800s.