Working Hard with Grace Beverley Ep. 138 Why Do We People Please & What Can We Do About It? (The Science)
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May 12, 2025 Dive into the psychology of people-pleasing and uncover its roots in childhood and societal pressures. A renowned psychotherapist shares insights on how these behaviors impact our well-being and mental health. Discover five effective strategies to combat the urge to please others, emphasizing mindfulness and self-assertion. Learn valuable techniques for setting boundaries and cultivating personal confidence. This conversation is all about prioritizing your own needs and finding balance in relationships.
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Root Causes of People Pleasing
- People pleasing is driven by fear, often rooted in childhood experiences where love and approval felt conditional.
- This fear causes prioritizing others' needs over one's own as a learned safety mechanism.
Fawn Response Explained
- The 'fawn response' is a trauma reaction where people please to reduce conflict instead of fight, flight, or freeze.
- Saying yes habitually can be a way to maintain peace and avoid stress in relationships.
Brain Chemistry Drives People Pleasing
- Social approval activates dopamine reward pathways, reinforcing people pleasing behavior.
- Fear of rejection triggers stress hormones, making it easier to say yes to avoid discomfort even when harmful long-term.