455: How to Create Great Relationships, with Colleen Bordeaux

Feb 17, 2020

Colleen Bordeaux, a best-selling author and human capital consultant, shares her wisdom on cultivating meaningful relationships. Discover the six essential steps to assess and improve your connections. Colleen reflects on battling loneliness and the transformative power of opening up about personal struggles. She highlights the importance of emotional self-care and recognizing toxic dynamics in relationships. The conversation emphasizes that genuine connections are cultivated through curiosity and self-reflection, making way for both personal and professional growth.

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ADVICE

Growth Drivers

Associate with people who inspire you and read insightful books.
These two factors significantly impact personal and professional growth.

INSIGHT

Loneliness at Work

Loneliness hinders authentic connections, impacting fulfillment at work.
Create supportive environments where people feel safe to be themselves.

ANECDOTE

Colleen's Loneliness

Colleen Bordeaux felt lonely during her brother's addiction due to perceived judgment.
Sharing her struggle later revealed others had similar hidden challenges.

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Am I Doing This Right?

Colleen Bordeaux

Colleen Bordeaux's "Am I Doing This Right?" offers a philosophical guide to navigating life's complexities in today's fast-paced world. The book delves into the importance of cultivating meaningful relationships and overcoming self-doubt. Bordeaux shares personal anecdotes and practical advice, emphasizing the significance of self-awareness and mindful decision-making. It encourages readers to assess their relationships, identify negative influences, and actively build a supportive network. The book ultimately empowers readers to create a more fulfilling and meaningful life.

The Power of Now

A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment

Eckhart Tolle

In 'The Power of Now', Eckhart Tolle discusses the importance of living in the present moment to achieve spiritual enlightenment. The book draws from various spiritual traditions, including Buddhism and mysticism, to explain how people's emotional problems are rooted in their identification with their minds. Tolle argues that the present moment is the only truly real time and that past and future are mere mental constructs. He provides methods for relaxation and meditation to help readers anchor themselves in the present, such as avoiding multitasking, spending time in nature, and letting go of worries about the future. The book also introduces concepts like the 'pain-body' and the distinction between one's thoughts and true self, emphasizing the need to recognize and separate from the destructive influence of the mind[2][4][5].

The Compound Effect

Darren Hardy

The Compound Effect by Darren Hardy is based on the principle that everyday decisions shape your destiny. The book emphasizes the importance of small, seemingly insignificant actions that, when repeated consistently over time, lead to significant results. Hardy provides practical advice on creating good habits, eliminating bad ones, and leveraging the compound effect in various areas of life such as finance, health, relationships, and spirituality. The book stresses the need for a new plan of action rather than more information, and it offers tools and strategies for tracking progress, building momentum, and achieving long-term success.

Colleen Bordeaux: Am I Doing This Right? Colleen Bordeaux is a best-selling author, speaker and human capital consultant based in Chicago. She has been published everywhere from the Chicago Sun Times to the Huffington Post and has been endorsed by New York Times columnist and past guest Barry Schwartz and Sunday Times bestselling author Louise Parker. Her popular blog has reached more than 200,000 readers and she leads a women’s mastermind group in Chicago. She is the author of the new book: Am I Doing This Right?: A Philosophical Guide to Life in the Age of Overwhelm*. In this conversation, Colleen and I discuss the power of relationships — and some of the key principles for cultivating the very best relationships to support you, both professionally and personally. Key Points You are the same today that you are going to be in five years except for two things: the people with whom you associate, and the books you read. -Charles Jones To be nobody but yourself in a world which does its best, day and night, to make you everyone else, is to fight the hardest battle any human being can fight and never stop fighting. -e.e. cummings Six steps to improving the relationships you cultivate: Assess your own crab-status. Take stock of who you’re spending time with. Consider who you’re not spending time with, but want to be spending time with. Evaluate these relationships based on what you need in your life. Eliminate or manage the relationships that aren’t working to create more space for the ones you need. Create a relationship mantra (Colleen’s is below): My relationships are the best gift I’ve been given, and they are my biggest responsibility. The primary purpose of each of my relationships is to help each other become better versions of ourselves by sharing our authentic experiences, perspectives, and gifts. I will be open to new connections, because that is a source of growth in life—and I will seek and cultivate friendships that bring me to life, and distance myself from relationships that drain me and influence me to betray my values. I aspire to have the kind of quality relationships that inspire others in how they approach developing, growing, and cultivating this important area of their lives. -Colleen Bordeaux Resources Mentioned Am I Doing This Right?: A Philosophical Guide to Life in the Age of Overwhelm* by Colleen Bordeaux Book Notes Download my highlights from Am I Doing This Right? in PDF format (free membership required). Related Episodes How to Grow Your Professional Network, with Tom Henschel (episode 279) The Way to Build Relationships at Conferences, with Robbie Samuels (episode 346) Grow Beyond What is Safe, with John Corcoran (episode 362) How to Create Meaningful Gatherings, with Priya Parker (episode 395) Discover More Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic.