Neurodiverse Love with Mona Kay

Internal Family Systems & How Our "Parts" Impact Our Relationships with Dr. Kim Bolling

10 snips
Nov 20, 2021
In this engaging discussion, Dr. Kim Bolling, a couples therapist with expertise in neurodiverse counseling, shares her transition from software engineering to therapy. She explores the Internal Family Systems framework, helping couples understand their emotional 'parts' to enhance communication and resolve conflicts. Listeners learn about the importance of explicit communication, coping mechanisms like masking in relationships, and practical tools to foster empathy and intimacy. With a focus on self-awareness and emotional validation, Dr. Bolling provides valuable insights for nurturing neurodiverse love.
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ANECDOTE

Internal Conflict Example

  • Kim Bolling describes conflicting internal desires as a mother and therapist.
  • She humorously admits to resolving this conflict by playing on her iPad.
INSIGHT

Indirection in Communication

  • Neurotypical communication often involves indirection, like implying desires instead of stating them.
  • This contrasts with the directness common in autistic communication, leading to misinterpretations.
ANECDOTE

Misinterpretation Example

  • Asking "Are you going to the store?" often implies a request, not just a question.
  • This can cause conflict when an autistic partner responds literally, missing the implied request.
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