"I'm not trying to feminize anybody. I'm trying to insist on wholeness for both our boys and our girls." This is the message conveyed by the speaker, who admires the masculinity displayed by the first responders during 9-11. They believe that one can be tough, strong, brave, and have a big heart all at the same time. The speaker wants to challenge the societal norms that divide people based on gender and aims to promote inclusivity and understanding. They emphasize the need for a gender literacy among influential figures in children's lives, such as parents, teachers, and coaches, to allow young people to be true to themselves.