Establishing Boundaries in Relationships

This episode is a two-for-one, and that’s because the podcast recently hit its 10-year anniversary and passed one billion downloads. To celebrate, I’ve curated some of the best of the best—some of my favorites—from more than 700 episodes over the last decade. I could not be more excited. The episode features segments from episode #37 "Tony Robbins on Morning Routines, Peak Performance, and Mastering Money" and #373 "Jerry Colonna — The Coach with the Spider Tattoo."

Please enjoy!

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Timestamps:

[00:00] Start

[05:00] Notes about this supercombo format.

[06:03] Enter Tony Robbins.

[06:27] Tony’s daily routines.

[07:28] Cryotherapy.

[10:55] Priming.

[15:04] Tony’s ideal music for meditation.

[16:20] Richard Branson’s first pre-investment questions.

[17:05] What a 50% investment loss actually means.

[17:42] The Paul Tudor Jones 5:1 strategy.

[18:36] How Kyle Bass taught his kids about investing with nickels.

[21:34] What the world’s best investors know for certain.

[24:00] Enter Jerry Colonna.

[24:21] Jerry’s spider tattoo origin story.

[30:03] The 2002 Olympic bid meeting that changed Jerry’s life.

[35:47] Jerry’s suicide attempt at 18 and his psychiatric hospital stay.

[37:06] The difference between responsible and complicit in Jerry’s life in 2002.

[39:55] Three important questions from Jerry’s therapist.

[41:02] Something important Jerry needed to say but didn’t during this time.

[42:39] How Jerry overcame self-doubt and unanswerable questions.

[44:46] Jerry’s path to coaching and three influential books.

[51:46] How much of Jerry’s coaching stemmed from focusing outside himself and healing his younger self.

[53:12] Convincing high-achievers of the importance of self-discovery.

[54:10] Jerry’s first question: “How are you really feeling?”

[57:11] Working with the chronically busy.

[59:40] Examining my handling of busyness, saying “No,” and related difficulties.

[1:09:40] Three basic risks we all try to manage: love, safety, and belonging.

[1:13:06] Tools, books, and approaches for setting boundaries and saying “No.”

[1:14:50] “All beings own their own karma. Their happiness or unhappiness depend upon their actions, not my wishes for them.”

[1:16:11] A boundary tool that acknowledges compassion from a distance.

[1:17:30] The challenge is in the meaning assigned to a situation before applying a tool.

[1:18:11] Dealing with vexing “Newman” personalities in our lives.

[1:22:56] Moving from intellectual agreement to behavioral change.

[1:25:26] Benefits of journaling for personal growth.

[1:27:33] Guilt vs. remorse.

[1:28:12] Marie Ponsot, the crow, and letting the crow speak in the journal.

[1:32:00] Jerry’s bedtimes, mornings, and journaling process.

[1:35:09] Journaling for accepting life’s totality and our inner “multitudes.”

[1:37:14] Tara Brach’s Radical Acceptance.

[1:37:41] Using Marvel’s Hulk and Thor to understand and reconcile parts of oneself.

[1:42:39] A difficult but life-changing decision Jerry made to say “No.”

[1:49:19] Advice for anyone at a similar junction.

[1:51:07] Using journaling and meditation to cope with anxiety and inner turmoil.

[1:54:43] Learning about loving kindness (metta) meditation.

[1:56:49] A new behavior or belief that improved Jerry’s quality of life.

[1:58:36] Jerry’s billboard.

[2:00:55] Parting thoughts.

*

For show notes and past guests on The Tim Ferriss Show, please visit tim.blog/podcast.

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Past guests on The Tim Ferriss Show include Jerry Seinfeld, Hugh Jackman, Dr. Jane Goodall, LeBron James, Kevin Hart, Doris Kearns Goodwin, Jamie Foxx, Matthew McConaughey, Esther Perel, Elizabeth Gilbert, Terry Crews, Sia, Yuval Noah Harari, Malcolm Gladwell, Madeleine Albright, Cheryl Strayed, Jim Collins, Mary Karr, Maria Popova, Sam Harris, Michael Phelps, Bob Iger, Edward Norton, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Neil Strauss, Ken Burns, Maria Sharapova, Marc Andreessen, Neil Gaiman, Neil de Grasse Tyson, Jocko Willink, Daniel Ek, Kelly Slater, Dr. Peter Attia, Seth Godin, Howard Marks, Dr. Brené Brown, Eric Schmidt, Michael Lewis, Joe Gebbia, Michael Pollan, Dr. Jordan Peterson, Vince Vaughn, Brian Koppelman, Ramit Sethi, Dax Shepard, Tony Robbins, Jim Dethmer, Dan Harris, Ray Dalio, Naval Ravikant, Vitalik Buterin, Elizabeth Lesser, Amanda Palmer, Katie Haun, Sir Richard Branson, Chuck Palahniuk, Arianna Huffington, Reid Hoffman, Bill Burr, Whitney Cummings, Rick Rubin, Dr. Vivek Murthy, Darren Aronofsky, Margaret Atwood, Mark Zuckerberg, Peter Thiel, Dr. Gabor Maté, Anne Lamott, Sarah Silverman, Dr. Andrew Huberman, and many more.

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