People vary widely in the skill of considering others, with reasons like egotism, anxiety, and a limited viewpoint hindering their ability to be attentive to others. The narrative illustrates how self-centeredness leads to misunderstandings and stereotypes during interactions. The speaker highlights the importance of being a 'question-asker' in conversations to truly understand others. The distinction between diminishers, who make people feel small by stereotyping and ignoring, and illuminators, who shine a positive light on others by being curious and attentive, is emphasized. The goal is to inspire individuals to shift from being diminishers to illuminators, making others feel valued and appreciated.