When two individuals become uncomfortable in their relationship, they might focus on a third person or issue to stabilize it, creating a triangle. This could involve focusing on work or finding a replacement for a loss to avoid dealing with the relationship directly. Triangles can involve any combination of people and issues, and do not necessarily require three individuals. According to Murray Bowen, a pioneer of family systems theory, the triangle is considered the most stable form of human relationship, as two-person relationships are inherently unstable due to the challenges of being self-differentiated most of the time.
When we are uncomfortable with another, we often avoid dealing directly with that relationship by triangling a third person or issue. Understanding how triangles work and how to deal with them is essential to healthy functioning.
This is the audio of Chapter 4 on Triangles from my book, If You Met My Family, You'd Understand: A Family Systems Primer. You can find all 10 chapters of the book in Episodes 56-65 of this Podcast.
Show Notes:
If You Met My Family, You'd Understand: A Family Systems Primer
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Read the Full Transcript on The Non-Anxious Leader website.
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