2min snip

TED Health cover image

Even healthy couples fight — the difference is how | Julie and John Gottman

TED Health

NOTE

The Power of Softened Startup in Communication

Effective communication in relationships can significantly improve interactions through the use of softened startups. Instead of focusing on blame or resentment with statements that start with accusations, a softened startup emphasizes personal feelings, describes the situation, and articulates a positive need. For instance, rather than saying something harsh like 'You're too cheap to take me out to dinner,' a softened approach would express feelings first, such as 'I'm feeling frustrated about needing to cook dinner every night,' followed by a request, like 'Would you please take me out to dinner tonight?' This technique invites collaboration and understanding, fostering a more constructive dialogue. It is also demonstrated in real scenarios where individuals can creatively rephrase their needs in a non-confrontational manner, enhancing the potential for positive responses.

00:00

Get the Snipd
podcast app

Unlock the knowledge in podcasts with the podcast player of the future.
App store bannerPlay store banner

AI-powered
podcast player

Listen to all your favourite podcasts with AI-powered features

Discover
highlights

Listen to the best highlights from the podcasts you love and dive into the full episode

Save any
moment

Hear something you like? Tap your headphones to save it with AI-generated key takeaways

Share
& Export

Send highlights to Twitter, WhatsApp or export them to Notion, Readwise & more

AI-powered
podcast player

Listen to all your favourite podcasts with AI-powered features

Discover
highlights

Listen to the best highlights from the podcasts you love and dive into the full episode