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Harvard Psychologist Shares 6 Words That Will Change Your Family

The Mel Robbins Podcast

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Mindset Over Motivation: Children Thrive When Capable

Believing that children do well if they can, rather than if they want to, promotes a significant mindset shift. This perspective counters the common assumption that a child's failure to perform is due to a lack of desire, which often leads to pressure and unproductive rewards and consequences that assume motivation is the sole issue. Recognizing that children’s challenges typically stem from barriers beyond motivation allows for a more effective approach, suggesting that if a child could succeed, they would. Therefore, shifting the focus from motivation to capability enables more constructive support and understanding rather than frustration or punitive measures.

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