Identifying and addressing the root cause of issues is crucial for healing as fixating on multiple problems can cloud one's ability to see what can be controlled. Substance abuse must be a top priority for healing as it can worsen other problems over time. Irritability and rage must be stopped promptly as they can cause significant harm to life and relationships. Attraction to troubled partners and friends, typically seen in those who were abused or neglected, can lead to importing problems into one's life.
Abuse and neglect in childhood can set in motion lifelong trauma symptoms. The people who hurt you are 100% responsible for this harm, and it's good if you can acknowledge that it's not your fault. It's also true that in adulthood, many of us continue to retraumatize ourselves with what I call "self-defeating behaviors." These are the habits and tendencies that can suck you right back down into dysregulation and lead you into MORE trauma in your life. In this video I walk you through the most common self-defeating behaviors; are any of these still active in your life?
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