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The Science of Optimal Performance—at Work and Beyond | Daniel Goleman
10% Happier with Dan Harris
Emphasizing Positive Intentions and Three Kinds of Empathy
Stating your positive intentions before giving feedback helps to open up the recipient, as it conveys care and concern for the relationship. There are three kinds of empathy: cognitive empathy, understanding the other person's thought process; emotional empathy, feeling with the person; and concern, genuinely caring about the other person. The speaker emphasized that the third kind, concern, is the most important and is the basis for compassion. However, excessive 'compassion thinking' may lead to avoiding difficult conversations. The combination of candor and compassion is encouraged, where being clear with somebody is considered the kindest approach. Melding explicitness with the expression of care is recommended to prevent the person from shutting down while receiving the feedback.
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