
955: Mastering Emotion and Conversation Like a Top Hostage Negotiator with Scott Walker
How to Be Awesome at Your Job
Immediate Action Drill for Emotional Regulation
✨Key takeaways:
- Interrupt the pattern.
- Ride the wave.
- Ask better questions.
To regulate emotions in any challenging situation, use this three-step process:
- Interrupt the pattern: Disrupt the emotional spiral by changing your physical state. Example: Stand up, go outside, listen to music, do jumping jacks, or practice deep breathing.
- Ride the wave: Acknowledge the physical sensations of your emotions without dwelling on the story behind them. Accept the presence of cortisol and adrenaline for 90 seconds to two minutes. Example: Notice the churning in your stomach or tension in your shoulders without focusing on why you're feeling that way.
- Ask better questions: Once calmed, gain a new perspective by asking open-ended questions. Example: Ask yourself, "What am I missing? What else could this mean? What's the opportunity? What's the learning here? How else can I look at this?"
This technique can be applied before, during, or after challenging situations.
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