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A Man's Guide To Ending Codependency
ManTalks Podcast
The Caretaker's Dilemma, Hypervigilance, Anxiety, People Pleasing
Men who grew up with hyper vigilant and problem-oriented parents or caregivers may constantly seek to anticipate their partner's needs and emotions, often overchecking with questions. This behavior stems from the childhood experience of trying to gain attention and meet the needs of a parent. The role of being a caretaker as a child, due to a sick or incapable parent, can lead to deprioritizing one's own needs and developing a mindset that prioritizes the needs of others. This can create a belief that sacrificing personal needs is necessary for maintaining relationships. The experience of being a caretaker as a child can lead to a mindset of heroic self-sacrifice, where taking care of others is seen as a noble act. Men who were caretakers as children may take the path of repetition, attracting partners who need or expect caretaking, as they seek to recreate a familiar and safe dynamic or reinforce the belief that their own needs are unimportant.
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