The Healing Process and Trusting Again in Relationships

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Entrepreneur, venture capitalist, and author Jason Portnoy began his career at PayPal, working closely with technology icons like Peter Thiel, Elon Musk, Max Levchin, and Reid Hoffman. He served as the first chief financial officer of Palantir Technologies and later founded Oakhouse Partners, a top-performing venture capital firm.

Jason is sought after as a trusted advisor to technology company CEOs and has spoken on topics ranging from executive leadership to the intersections of technology and humanity. He holds engineering degrees from both Stanford University (MS) and the University of Colorado (BS).

His new book is Silicon Valley Porn Star.

Please enjoy!

This episode is brought to you by LinkedIn Marketing Solutions, the go-to tool for B2B marketers and advertisers who want to drive brand awareness, generate leads, or build long-term relationships that result in real business impact.

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This episode is also brought to you by Shopify! Shopify is one of my favorite platforms and one of my favorite companies. Shopify is a platform designed for anyone to sell anywhere, giving entrepreneurs the resources once reserved for big business. In no time flat, you can have a great looking online store that brings your ideas to life, and you can have the tools to manage your day-to-day and drive sales. No coding or design experience required.

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This episode is also brought to you by Athletic Greens. I get asked all the time, “If you could use only one supplement, what would it be?” My answer is usually AG1 by Athletic Greens, my all-in-one nutritional insurance. I recommended it in The 4-Hour Body in 2010 and did not get paid to do so. I do my best with nutrient-dense meals, of course, but AG further covers my bases with vitamins, minerals, and whole-food-sourced micronutrients that support gut health and the immune system. 

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[04:45] A caffeine-free breakfast

[08:22] Background basics

[10:52] Education and career diversions

[16:51] Getting a job on the merits of an eclectic reading list and company t-shirt

[21:47] Early days at PayPal

[25:54] Lessons learned from Thiel, Hoffman, and Musk

[31:40] Why were so many disparate projects seeded by the PayPal diaspora?

[36:59] Peering into Palantir and the low-profile mindset

[41:22] Origins of the title Silicon Valley Porn Star

[44:02] Recognizing addiction, its escalating consequences, and its contributing factors

[53:50] Escaping self-imposed victimhood and rescuing the marriage

[1:05:52] Shared therapy and vocabulary

[1:08:06] Simplifying and subtracting

[1:15:20] Shame spirals and 12 steps (not South Africa)

[1:25:22] From Porn Star to The Monk with help via choice reading selections and Coach Melissa

[1:30:12] Reconciliation

[1:33:22] Most important keys to the repair process

[1:34:54] Safeguards against relapse

[1:38:02] Modern porn vs. “natural” urges

[1:40:11] What compelled Jason to write Silicon Valley Porn Star?

[1:44:51] Time for surrender: filling in the post-book timeline

[1:50:26] Enduring challenges

[1:51:49] Retreat lessons

[1:55:36] Jason’s billboard

[1:57:34] Books most gifted

[1:59:29] Good investments made

[2:02:03] The obscure side of Microsoft Excel

[2:04:36] What makes a great CFO?

[2:08:52] Finance: on the job vs. school

[2:11:21] Opening up to a partner about secrets we’ve been holding

[2:17:52] Parting thoughts

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Past guests on The Tim Ferriss Show include Jerry Seinfeld, Hugh Jackman, Dr. Jane Goodall, LeBron James, Kevin Hart, Doris Kearns Goodwin, Jamie Foxx, Matthew McConaughey, Esther Perel, Elizabeth Gilbert, Terry Crews, Sia, Yuval Noah Harari, Malcolm Gladwell, Madeleine Albright, Cheryl Strayed, Jim Collins, Mary Karr, Maria Popova, Sam Harris, Michael Phelps, Bob Iger, Edward Norton, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Neil Strauss, Ken Burns, Maria Sharapova, Marc Andreessen, Neil Gaiman, Neil de Grasse Tyson, Jocko Willink, Daniel Ek, Kelly Slater, Dr. Peter Attia, Seth Godin, Howard Marks, Dr. Brené Brown, Eric Schmidt, Michael Lewis, Joe Gebbia, Michael Pollan, Dr. Jordan Peterson, Vince Vaughn, Brian Koppelman, Ramit Sethi, Dax Shepard, Tony Robbins, Jim Dethmer, Dan Harris, Ray Dalio, Naval Ravikant, Vitalik Buterin, Elizabeth Lesser, Amanda Palmer, Katie Haun, Sir Richard Branson, Chuck Palahniuk, Arianna Huffington, Reid Hoffman, Bill Burr, Whitney Cummings, Rick Rubin, Dr. Vivek Murthy, Darren Aronofsky, and many more.

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