The Power of How and What Questions in Negotiation

In negotiations, asking how and what questions can reveal a lot about the other person's thinking and reaction. If they quickly fire back or don't think deeply about it, it indicates one type of person. If they pause and give a thoughtful answer, it shows a different type. Learning from a hostage negotiation expert, the key is to exhaust the other side, especially if they are aggressive. Asking how and what questions tires them out and can lead to a favorable outcome.

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In this episode, my guest is Chris Voss, a former Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) agent who was the lead negotiator in many high-risk, high-consequence cases. Chris has taught negotiation courses at Harvard and Georgetown Universities and is the author of the book “Never Split the Difference.” We discuss how to navigate difficult conversations of all kinds, including in business, romance and romantic breakups, job firings and tense conversations with family and friends. Chris explains how to navigate online, in person and in written negotiations, the red flags to watch out for and how to read body and voice cues in face-to-face and phone conversations. He explains how to use empathy, certain key questions, proactive listening, emotional processing and more to ensure you reach the best possible outcome in any hard conversation. This episode ought to be of interest to anyone looking to improve their interpersonal abilities and communication skills and for those who want to be able to keep a level head in heated discussions.

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