The Importance of Listening and Presence in Relationships

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As a heterosexual man, I've noticed that we are often inclined to find solutions to problems. However, I've realized that sometimes all people want is to be heard and understood. It's frustrating when I express my stress to a friend and they immediately offer solutions instead of just listening. This applies to kids as well; they crave validation and the feeling of being heard more than constant problem-solving. As parents, we should remember that understanding is an action and presence is powerful. Sometimes, all we need is someone to be there for us, offering their support and reassuring us that we're not alone. This kind of healing presence allows us to find our own solutions.

One of the most important things that humans do is learning how to relate – to ourselves, one another, and, crucially, to our parents. Dr. Becky Kennedy, who was deemed the “Millennial Parenting Whisperer” by Time Magazine, might understand this better than anyone. In this episode, Dr. Becky and Chris discuss how we can raise kids in ways that help them be confident and resilient. But don’t fret, non-parents, Dr. Becky also shares rich insights about how to find and develop the relationship-mending skills we need to thrive as adults. This jam-packed episode has a little something for everyone – and if you want more from Dr. Becky you can listen to her talk on TED Talks Daily, or find her on her own podcast, Good Inside with Dr. Becky, wherever you are listening to this. For the full text transcript, visit go.ted.com/BHTranscripts