Empathy is Multiplicative: Tune Into Your Own Feelings To Better Understand What Others Might Be Feeling

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I always thought I was empathetic, but I realized that I was too focused on other people's experiences and neglecting my own. True empathy is feeling the other person while also feeling yourself. It's about putting some attention in your body and some in theirs. I used to completely ignore my own body, while others never paid attention to the other person.

Tee has a spirited chat with Lulie Tanett, an independent researcher, Twitter celeb and teacher trainee of the Alexander Technique.

We follow the narrative arc of Lulie’s own self-development journey, somewhat intentionally falling into rabbit holes of all varieties, including:

(12:35) The Taking Children Seriously (TCS) parenting movement and educational philosophy – “My first words were ‘that’s coercive!’”
(29:50) Eugene Gendlin’s Focusing “changed her life forever” and is the “foundation of all inner work.”
(33:10) The surprising (to us) usefulness of the Enneagram – blindspot prediction, character construction, and healthy & degenerative expressions
(47:25) Enheartened philosophical exploration and debate versus ‘grabby’ intellectualism
(1:00:45) The Alexander Technique and VIEW (Vulnerability, Impartiality, Empathy, Wonder)

Spicier parts of the episode include spotting hallmarks of the pretense of vulnerability often found within Authentic Relating circles (1:19:52), Tee’s pushback of Alexander Technique-isms (1:18:30), skepticisms about emphasizing a single type of personal development tradition (1:39:28), Lulie disabuses Tee of his bias against ‘mindsets’ (1:41:00)and what Lulie would now say to the previous “floating brain” version of herself regarding bodily processing and energy (2:02:44).