Understanding Resentment and Emotional Deception in Relationships

Resentment often arises in relationships when partners feel their desired views of self are not validated by their significant other. This can lead to a cycle of emotional deception, where one partner may stay quiet about their needs to avoid conflict. Resentment and covert entitlement can build up, justifying emotional affairs and deception. This justification is maintained by distorting views of oneself, the spouse, and the affair partner. Individuals may focus on the limitations of their spouse to justify the dishonesty, while inflating the qualities of the affair partner. By offering aspects of themselves to the affair partner that they do not offer to their spouse, individuals seek the distorted self-view they desire. This emotional deception can also involve colluding to limit exposure to other aspects of themselves, enabling a mutual validation system to thrive outside of the primary relationship.