Common Love Stories

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There are 26 distinct love stories that people often subscribe to, illustrating the diverse dynamics within romantic relationships. These include the 'Addiction' story, where partners develop an intense reliance on each other fueled by the fear of separation. The 'Audition' story focuses on the need for validation and performance in love, creating pressure to consistently impress each other. 'Business' emphasizes a relationship structured around collective benefits such as wealth and status. In the 'Cookbook' narrative, love requires specific ingredients and steps, suggesting that forgetting these can diminish the relationship's quality. The 'Fantasy' story involves idealized visions of love, such as the pursuit of a fairytale ending. The 'Game' perspective treats love like a competition, where victory and roles like captain and bench player emerge. The 'Gardening' analogy conveys that love requires nurturing and time to prosper, likening it to a fruit tree needing care to yield abundant fruits. The 'History' story defines relationships through past behaviors, impacting trust and expectations. From a 'Horror' angle, relationships can evoke fear, enhancing their authenticity. The 'Humor' perspective portrays love as a comedic journey where everyone eventually faces humiliation. The 'Mystery' theme values the unspoken aspects of love over complete transparency. The 'Police' narrative addresses the necessity of boundaries and rules in relationships to maintain respect and trust. 'Religion' positions love as subordinate to spiritual obligations, while 'Science' presents love as a subject for analysis and understanding. The 'War' story symbolizes love as a continuous power struggle. Each person may resonate differently with these stories, reflecting their unique experiences and perspectives on love.

What Is Your Love Story?

Not the one that you’re in per se, but the one that subconsciously, you’ll move mountains or reality, to live inside? Psychologists have identified 26 kinds of stories that people commit to BEFORE committing to their romantic partner so, which one is yours?
Our starring guest Raven Ross who you can recall from Netlfix’s reality series, Love is Blind Season 3. She is also a pilates instructor nearly a 2 million followers on social media. Raven went through one of the messiest Tik Tok cheating scandals last year with her ex-fiancee. Now, she’s ready to love out loud again plus wants to share with you how, why, and maybe even who..

A love story is a frame of reference for how you believe love works or should work. Kind of like how your political beliefs describe how you think a group of people should be governed. Now, as I mentioned off the top, in my fav book, the new psychology of love, there are 26 different common stories that people can subscribe to.
Addiction - we have an intense first connection and from then on we need each other and create a dynamic based around the fear of parting ways
Audition - you gotta win the part and keep proving you love me and if you forget the lines or go too far off script
Art - my partner looks good and they make me look good because I own something beautiful
Business - our union is designed to give us more money, power and respect from others
Cookbook - love has a recipe and instruction list, if we forget ingredients or steps our love won’t be as good
Fantasy - save me, marry me, and happily ever after me.
Game - love is a sport with a winner and a loser or if we’re on the same team there’s still a captain and a bench player
Gardening - love is something that has to grow and it takes time, awareness of the environment, plus continuous tending to in order to flourish. For more on this, see my episode where I explain the difference between a fruit and a fruit tree
History - in our relationship you are who you were, there’s only past you and future you. Think of it like the difference between “I’ll believe it when I see it” and “let’s just see!”
Horror - relationships are scary and the scarier it is, the more real it is
Humor - love is a joke, some people get the joke early, some later, but sooner or later everyone gets humbled
Mystery - you don’t need to know everything about each other because maintaining the mystery is more important than discovering yourselves through uncovering one another
Police - you gotta place rules and boundaries on your partner because people are only as good as you’ll allow them to be
Religion - love is in service of the Lord
Sacrifice - love is just as much about what you give as what you’re willing to give up to demonstrate devotion to the other
Science - love can be studied and explained through scientific theory just like anything else
War - love is a power struggle ruled by
The other ones are: recover, science fiction, sewing, theater, travel, war, student-teacher, and a few more.

Conversation starter pack
What story of love are you currently subscribing to?
Which ones are you aspiring to?
What narratives are you trying to stay clear of and why?
What love story was modeled for you growing up?

Thanks to the sponsors of this episode!

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www.zocdoc.com to download the free app

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