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Enabling Attention-Seeking Behavior
If you want your life or relationship to change, take action and don't just wait for the other person to change. Couples often fall into a pattern where one is the pursuer and the other is the distancer. When you do what you do, it only increases the other person's behavior. In couple therapy, people start to realize that they are not independent beings, but rather part of a dynamic with their partner. It's important for both partners to make changes in order for things to improve. Otherwise, one person ends up lonely and unhappy while the other carries the weight of the relationship. Don't wait for the other person to stop knocking, take responsibility and make a change yourself.