Loneliness can arise when we realize no one sees the world from our perspective, triggering a sense of being alone. Our minds seek explanations and often shame steps in with self-blame, suggesting we deserve to be lonely. Shame weaponizes loneliness by making us feel unworthy of connection. To distinguish loneliness from shame, recognize that loneliness is a natural human experience, while shame adds unnecessary self-criticism. By acknowledging that loneliness is part of being human, we can shrink the power of shame and embrace solitude as a transformative experience.
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Episode 2105:
Dr. Kelly Flanagan explores the concept of loneliness and its separation from shame. Despite diminishing shame, loneliness can persist, highlighting its intrinsic nature to human existence. The post encourages reframing loneliness as a natural part of life and discourages the association of shame with this universal experience.
Read along with the original article(s) here: https://drkellyflanagan.com/why-we-feel-lonely-and-what-not-to-do-about-it/
Quotes to ponder:
"Loneliness happens. It is as much a part of life as hunger and sunsets and funerals."
"When you feel lonely for a time, it is your loneliness surfacing and then settling into the depths again. It doesn’t mean you’re paying a price for something. It simply means you’re paying attention."
"Shame is often everything that comes after the word because. Shame is believing your loneliness is a consequence for how badly or strangely you were made."
Episode references:
Dr. Kelly Flanagan's book: "Loveable": https://drkellyflanagan.com/loveable/
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